Posted by: Molly | 2009-05-06

Anger Management 3

Hi all,

last night things were ok-ish. No violence, no nasty comments or name calling. I didn' t break anything- just stomped around and cried and slammed a few drawers.

He even offered to make me supper... But he says tonight he' s moving out. He offered to go for couples therapy this morning, but I told him what good is it going to do. He says he' s wanted to move out and leave me for the past year, but he admitted he was using me. He said he hates the person he' s become, and no doubt he blames me. He said he' s going to go to therapy.

I always told myself I' d never be one of those women who stays with someone who beats/ uses her. I' m so shattered because I love this man with all my heart and I have this hope in my heart that maybe a week apart and he' ll miss me and want to come back.
I sent him a SMS asking him if he wants me to pack up his things before he gets home to speed up the process and he sent me a message back saying,' '  haha ur funny' ' . What does that mean now? I' m so confused now. He' s adamant that he doesn' t love me and he wants to move out, but why is he bothering to be nice?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Thanks for the follow-up. Now, don't reject his sensible offer of couples therapy ( as well as attending to your own need for therapy / counselling, just as he says he will be doing for himself ) --- it could be really helpful for both of yo, and at least part of the problem seems to lie in relationship problems. Even if working on these doesn't heal this relationship, it could enhance the chances of both of you to avoid such problems in the future. Maybe a week separation would help you both to reconsider the situatiomn, true ; but he probably didn;'t want or need you to acually pack for him. He probably doesn't love tha angry vreaking things you, but the res of you who he actually married --- and maybe he wants to be nice and not especially nasty about all this

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