Posted by: Molly | 2009-05-04

Anger Management 2

Hello again,

I' d like to thank everyone for their comments. Especially the people that actually had something civil to say. I know we must be a bit loud for the neighbors but it' s not like I' m purposely and selfishly making noise for them. I' m trying to sort myself out.

Today things got a bit worse. I asked him to make a deposit a couple of weeks ago and instead of depositing it into the Body Corporate account, he filled in a Vodacom deposit slip and paid the money into there! When I got the statement and I saw the payment wasnt reflecting I phoned him and asked him where did he pay the money into. When I called him back once I got the deposit slip and I saw in big red writing " PAYMENT TO VODACOM SERVICE PROVIDER" 
he sounded so disinterested and so..... Not giving a damn (I know thats not proper engish) when I told that I got so angry that I shouted at him. He hung up on me and I phoned to apologize and he hung up on me again. He then rejected all further calls I tried to make. So I left it. He came home late, in a bad mood and like he was about to murder. I asked him to leave 3 times and each time I asked he got more violent. I asked him why does he keep pretending and why doesn' t he just make up his mind and how does he think I feel being told I' m loved one minute and that I' m going to get killed in my sleep the next minute.

I don' t even know what I said next... Next thing I know a huge copy of The Green Mile book comes flying at me and hits my hand that' s holding my curry (which I don' t even like- I made it for him). So I start crying and he comes to me and throws my curry and the book at me again.
I' m covered in food and I think he hurt my wrist because I can' t even hold a bottle of shampoo in that hand.

I' m ready to admit that I' m in an abusive relationship.
I don' t have any support system- my friends turned against me when I left the place we were all working with. My father and younger sister live in Pretoria. He travels a lot so I only see them once every 2 or 3 weeks for about an hour or so. My mother has her own alcoholic money draining boyfriend to deal with and we' ve never had much of a relationship anyway. My older sister is a drug addicts that I only hear of when my dad phones and asks me to leave her money somewhere. She' s also a stressing factor in my life.
I can' t afford to live by myself... Anyone need somewhere to live?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

OK. Now its very obvious that this i an abusive relationship. Call a group like POWA which specializes in advising abused women ; maybe your local Lifeline would know some. Is there someone from your work who migh want to share accomodation with you ? Immediaely stop providing any money at all to your drug adict sister --- giving money toan addict is only helping to pay for her addiction. She needs to get herself into rehab and clean up her life, and stop sponging off oher people. You mother seems to be making the same mistake, but that's something only she can solve, and not your problem. Personal counseling could help you sort things out better. Don't emphasize how alone you feel beause your family are unavilable to support and help you -- from the sound of it, you're better off without them, and they would be more of a hindrance than a help. A counsellor could help you re-discover your own strengths and to feel, and be, self-sufficient

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-06

I' m a bit off the point... what kind of curry was it?

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: aNNa | 2009-05-06

Thanks for giving us follow-up on your story - please do as CS says - you can change all of this.

Reply to aNNa
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-05

There must be a safehouse somewhere!If you dont have children,leave today!

Reply to Anonymous

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