Our expert says:
All this must be very difficult for you to cope with. With this sort of illness, it becomes increasinsly difficult for the person to even think of themselves usefully or intelligently, let alone to think of you appropriately.
Maybe in reassuring him you can talk more about CARING about him, rather than love, as this you are still doing.
Nationally there is a tragic and disgraceful lack of homes or facilities for people in his sort of situation, or indeed with most sorts of chronic condition. There are probably more facilities for people with AIDS than for people with all other serious conditions added together.
One of the problems of paranoia is that it may start as an over-valued theory you have, but paranoid people tend to behave in ways that induce other people to behave in ways which they can then interpret as evidence that their paranoid ideas are true.
I"m sure you have tried this before, but i is surely important for you to insist on making an appointment to see the psychiatrist in charge of his care, maybe also a social worker if one is involved, and to very frankly explain to them how difficult this all is, and ask them to advise you on your options. To help you and the family is part of their duty to the family and the patient himself. They may know of facilities. They might not know if the meds are not suiting him well at present, and might be able to try a diferent combination. They must recognize that if you withdrew your support from him, he would become entirely their responsibility, and should for this reason, too, be motivated to advise you well
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