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Question
Posted by: Thandi | 2012/06/27

Anger affecting my relationships

My dad abused me physically and emotional since I was a child and He still does emotionally. A father of my son gave me HIV. So basically I have had a bad experience with men in my life.Somehow I now hate men in general. But my issue here is, I guess my past experieces has made me an aggresive and defensive person. I have a lot of anger in my heart, I lack confidence and I am alone since people avoid me... I guess because they see that I am a volitile person. I get angry at little things and I always think the worse of any situation. I always think people are out to get me or are trying to undermine me. My anger issues and poor social skills are now affecting my career as well, also am alone without a friends and I dont have strong family support either.I dont want to be angry anymore... I am suffering please help me....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sorry to hear about this, thandi. You need to see a psychologist for psychotherapy / counselling, to give you back control over your feelings and emotions ; to help you stop allowing this bad man from continuing to be able to emotionally abuse you. And to help you revise the emotional responses these bad experiences have caused you to develop - to you can recognize that there are evil men ( and indeed evil women ) out there ) and good ones, and how to tell the difference and how not to be vulnerable to them.
Learn to open to good people and feel less lonely and more accepting and accepted, while remaining appropriately vigilant towards predators like your dad and others like him.
You can give up the inappropriate and unhelpful degree of anger, and reserve it for the people, like him, who acually deserve it. With other friends, you will feel less alone, more safe, and more confident.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Thandi | 2012/06/29

Thank you for your advices. It was the first time for me to open up about this.... I will start looking around for a psychotherapist. I feel lighter already, just knowing that someone understands what am going through and that there is help up there. Thank you so much..

Reply to Thandi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/06/28

Sorry to hear about this, thandi. You need to see a psychologist for psychotherapy / counselling, to give you back control over your feelings and emotions ; to help you stop allowing this bad man from continuing to be able to emotionally abuse you. And to help you revise the emotional responses these bad experiences have caused you to develop - to you can recognize that there are evil men ( and indeed evil women ) out there ) and good ones, and how to tell the difference and how not to be vulnerable to them.
Learn to open to good people and feel less lonely and more accepting and accepted, while remaining appropriately vigilant towards predators like your dad and others like him.
You can give up the inappropriate and unhelpful degree of anger, and reserve it for the people, like him, who acually deserve it. With other friends, you will feel less alone, more safe, and more confident.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Maria | 2012/06/27

Thandi you will really benefit from counselling. I also didn''t trust men, although in my case the exceptions were my father and brother and nothing as bad as happened to you ever happened to me. It was only when a skilled psychologist carefully explored this with me that I realised the reasons behind distrust and managed to rationally think about it and change my feelings.

Reply to Maria

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