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Question
Posted by: nox | 2011/05/12

Anger

I am trying by all means to contain my anger as it has made me loose people close to my heart in the past, just last nite i went out with another friend of mine then round about 23h00 I made a call to this other friend of ours that we nomarlly go out with because there was a song playing that we all love so i just wanted to make her listen to the song,but she did''nt answer. When I get to the office this morning I am getting an email from her asking me why was I calling her in the middle of the night &  I told her that i went out with our friend so we were just missing u so she''s asking me if I checked the time before I made that call? i have''nt answered her bcoz I don''t want to say things that might end up causing a fight because she has just got married &  I understand that she is doing things differently but when I was merried she used to call me at what ever time &  I''ve never complained even once even though my ex-husband did''nt like me receiving calls from friend at night.

Please help I am fumming,but I am trying by all means to contain my anger.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

What I am about to say may well make you angry.
From the example you quote, you do seem to be getting far too angry about very trivial issues. Few of us could afford to go out past 11 pm during thr working week, and calling a friend that late simply for the utterly trivial reason of wantin her to listen over the phone to a piece of music, is indeed selfish and thoughtless.
I am of the Old school of social customs hat says after 7 or 8 in the evening, you don;'t call ANYONE except in the event of a genuine emergency. And many people are similar - a late night call is alarming, sugesting something awfuyl has happened to someone. Not just that someone tipsy has heard a tune they fancy.
And this poor woman is newly married ? She might have something FAR nicer to be doing than answering calls late at night !
Wait till you have cooled down, and next time you meet with her (early in the day !) have a chat and agreem on mutual rules about timing and causes of such calls, so you can both feel satisfied.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2011/05/12

Doc is right, late night calls are alarming and a lot of people usually gets alarmed, i for one if i receive a call that late i get filled with fear before i pick up the phone, i love my friends but they know and have shared with them that they do not call me after 9 unless its an emergency.
You need to control your anger since you are being so inconsiderate.

Reply to Me
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/12

What I am about to say may well make you angry.
From the example you quote, you do seem to be getting far too angry about very trivial issues. Few of us could afford to go out past 11 pm during thr working week, and calling a friend that late simply for the utterly trivial reason of wantin her to listen over the phone to a piece of music, is indeed selfish and thoughtless.
I am of the Old school of social customs hat says after 7 or 8 in the evening, you don;'t call ANYONE except in the event of a genuine emergency. And many people are similar - a late night call is alarming, sugesting something awfuyl has happened to someone. Not just that someone tipsy has heard a tune they fancy.
And this poor woman is newly married ? She might have something FAR nicer to be doing than answering calls late at night !
Wait till you have cooled down, and next time you meet with her (early in the day !) have a chat and agreem on mutual rules about timing and causes of such calls, so you can both feel satisfied.

Reply to cybershrink

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