Posted by: anon | 2009-07-06



I have very deep seated anger towards my ex and I cant let it go. The more I think about the hurt and pain that he casued me the more I make it sound like I have a reason to be complaining. The biggist problem is we seperated over 4 years ago and this is still not getting me anywere. Tried the route of Therapy and eft as I felt I was not getting anything from it as The therapist would not take any note and would just let me comlain about him for a hour and not put anything into it.
Were to from now. I stand to loos emy kids because I cant let go and let them have a relationship with there father.

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Our expert says:
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As Liza says, CBT would be the ideal therapy for this. Sounds like you had a really useless therapist, not usng modern and effective methods at all. Simply complaining with an inactive or sleeping therapist is simply spinning your wheels. CBT is excellent for recognizing and changing this sort of damaging habit of thought that causes continuing damage. Recognize that your anger ( which is now generated by you, no longer by him, however richly deserved it might have been originally ) is now a form of chain tying you to him and preventing you from escaping into a hapier future. He's gone ; that's good ; but now he may be more free, if he has moved on as one should, while you are still tied into repeating the hurts of the past. That's like tramping on a drawing pin, and instead of promptly removing it and throwing it away, standing there repeatedly, shiting from foot to foot, tramping on the same drawing pin again and again.
CBT is what would be best ; avoid any lazy therapist such as what it sounds like you had before, and avoid any Analytic therapist like the plague or swine flu.
Set yourself free and discover how rewarding the res of your life can be --- surely you deserve that ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2009-07-06

Try a therapist that specializes in CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) since the therapist you were using is obviously useless. Call the Depression and Anxiety group helpline to find out about therapists in your area.

Good Luck

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