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Question
Posted by: RE: My wife and the other man | 2011-02-19

Andre

In RSA we have developed the term: Ayoba... Well, I must be honest I expected 3 maybe 3 replied, but when I opend this now and i saw all of your replies... That is Ayoba!

I will respond on the first posting to alot of what were said, but just know this.
I went into meetings yesterday after my posting and the evening was HELL, she sits constantly on Facebook and with some " old friends" . She does not see the issue but some single guy of 29 tells her he is in bed with a headacke (on i friday 19:00) What why? Does he want her to make it better??

Anycase, that is another issue. All I want this forum to know is that all your rsponses made me positive this morning!!!!

Thank you!!

(You guys are my new best friends)

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Pleased the forum responses were helpful for you - and the folks here are far more genuine "friends" than the pretence of friendship on Facebook.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Just saying! | 2011-02-21

Why do you put up with her bull crap? She is doing all of this because she is getting away with it and indirectly you are allowing it, she has no respect for you or her self and she is arrogant and selfish, dont you deserve better, if she is your sole mate why is she using FB to flirt with other men.

Reply to Just saying!
Posted by: Woman | 2011-02-21

Andre, counselors won''t tell you to let go. My DH &  I have known each other 18 years, married for 5. We go to counselling not because we are on the brink of divorce, but because we think &  feel in different ways. Our counselor doesn''t judge us, doesn''t tell hubby that he''s wrong and I''m right or vice versa. She basically translates " man-talk"  into woman''talk so I can understand him and the same the other way around. Counselling is not expensive, a divorce is expensive.

Counselling makes our relationship better. It helps us to work through the issues we have in a non-threatening environment and we have an objective third person who gives us workable and practical advice. We pay R280 a session. Much cheaper than heartbreak, a broken home, maintenance and alimony.

There is nothing wrong with counselling, in fact, I would go as far as to say that it is necessary to sustain a long, happy relationship.

Would you not rather have a marriage relationship where your wife is in love with you again? Won''t you rather know how to talk so she understands? Don''t you want to be happy again?

just my 2 cents...

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Andre | 2011-02-20

short respponse from cell ohone.
I''m anti counseling because i. Scared they''ll tell me i should let go!!
And they then make sense out of that and make me do such thing.
We have lots of issues, but we have coped in they years gone by.

Reply to Andre
Posted by: Real man | 2011-02-20

Scared to get outside professional help.Very namby pamby. Now l know why you didnt beat the guy senseless.

Reply to Real man
Posted by: Just asking???? | 2011-02-20

SCARED of theraphy but willing to stay in an unhappy marriage and not trying to put things right with external help. Doesn''t make sense?
Councelling is your only option, are you not going to fight to save your marriage?.
Please listen to CS.

Reply to Just asking????
Posted by: New best friend | 2011-02-20

But you have not coped in years gone by without help, look how you have ended up.
As you say you have many issues and your wife had an affair!and flirts on face book!
Councelling does not MAKE you do anything, you work through problems and come up with your own solutions.
You are not coping without help thats why you are posting on this site!

Reply to New best friend
Posted by: Andre | 2011-02-20

short respponse from cell ohone.
I''m anti counseling because i. Scared they''ll tell me i should let go!!
And they then make sense out of that and make me do such thing.
We have lots of issues, but we have coped in they years gone by.

Reply to Andre
Posted by: Just asking????? | 2011-02-19

Why are you so anti counceling as recommended by CS. And it has got to be cheaper than a divorce settlement and lawyer fees.
I thought you would do anything to keep your soul mate.

Reply to Just asking?????
Posted by: New best friend | 2011-02-19

Couples therapy will not tell u what to do but helps u both work thro your problems!
Money - u just got a salary increase? what beter way to spend your money if not on the love of your life?
stop being defensive/negative!

Reply to New best friend
Posted by: Andre | 2011-02-19

Couples theraphy... I don''t know. So I must go pay some other person to listen to my problem and tell me if I should stay with her or not, and then take that as gospel?
SOmehow it does not make sense to me

Reply to Andre
Posted by: New best friend | 2011-02-19

Ban her from face book and get into couples theraphy - keep us all up dated

Reply to New best friend
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-02-19

Pleased the forum responses were helpful for you - and the folks here are far more genuine "friends" than the pretence of friendship on Facebook.

Reply to cybershrink

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