Our expert says:
Gee, thanks. Baie dankie!
ne can always, if one chooses, play games of "What If ?" - in one's own life, or in world history. It can be entertaining, but its rarely useful, as we can't go back and take the different road we ignored the first time round. The best we can do is to learn from what may have been errors in the past, and make better decisions in the present and the future.
And all of us, maybe especially when younger, believe everything bad that happens must be a specific someone's fault - it's harder to recognize that sometimes bad things happen even when good people are doing the best they can and where nobody intends anything to go wrong.
If you wait a bit longer, despite turbulence over your decision to divorce and re-start - I suspect that when your children themselves mary, and just start to notice how hard it is even with the best intentions in the world, they may ome to understand your situation better. Just as when they have chilren of their own, they'll appareciate how difficult it was for you both
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