Our expert says:
Counsellor's dont see people who are crazy, and sometimes it's the crazier people who are convinced they don't need the help a counselor could provide. I am entirely sure you are not crazy at all. Sounds like a nasty MIL is spooking you out rather meanly. Retaliaite by not allowing her to upset you.
It sounds as though part of your desperation to have a girl is to prove her wrong ? But of course, she is totally wrong whayever brand of child you have.
If you really like pink dresses, etc., congratulations, so did my late mother, a most marvellous person - but she never felt diminished because she didn't have a daughter to also wear pink dresses, or because her son wasn't fond of pink shirts.
And apart from the nasty MIL< your mother didn't have the right sort of mother-daughter relationship with you - so you want to have aa daughter so you can prove that unlike your mom, YOU can do it right. But what was and is most important is the loving relationship with any child, and that's apparently something you are doing fine with your son. You don't need a daughter to show that you're a good mother.
Whatever may have been wrong with the way you are brought up, can be fixed within you - it is not something to |fix" in one's child. Who knows whether to some extent your mother's poor mothering was a reaction to how SHE in turn had been brought up as a child - maybe her style of mothering, that overlooked your own special needs, were more aimed to deal with her own needs.
Your current anguish CAN indeed be a thing of the past. Time may well solve the issues, but it would be achieved much sooner and more efficiently, and leaving more time for you and your sons to enjoy each other, with the aid of a counsellor / psychotherapist.
Your heart aches now, not because this is inevitable, but because you are a bit stubbornly holding to a prescription you wrote for yourself years ago, which isn't solving your problems but creating them, and needs to be revised with expert input
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