Our expert says:
Many heterosexual couples do include anal sex as part of their sexual activity and as long as you are careful and gentle if you try, you will see whether you choose to include it too. There are no pleasure sensors in the anus and women don't have a prostate to stimulate through the anus so anal sex is often more for the man's pleasure physically and possibly a psychological pleasure for the woman (ie. doing something she finds exciting for her own reasons or because she is pleasing her partner).
It is a very different experience to vaginal penetration, so don't expect it to be the same. The vagina is designed to be able to accommodate a penis and thrusting (it swells and lubricates to protect itself - the anus and rectum don't). As a result, if you do try make sure that you use plenty of lubricant (on him and on your anus) and move very slowly as the sphincter may be quite tight and resitant to relaxing - perhaps try inserting one of his fingers before you try with his penis. If you attempt penetration too fast, yes, there could be a small tear, but is you focus on relaxing and move slowly, this shouldn't happen.
You also need to remember that the rectum has bacteria that you do not want to transfer into the vagina as this can cause an infection - so you should not allown his finger or penis to penetrate your anus and then your vagina without washing it off first! You could always use a condom and just remove it after the anal penetration.
After considering all of this information, if you are really still not ready, then talk to him - no one in a sexual relationship should feel under duress to do something that they really do not want to do; this can build resentment in the relationship.
Claire - SASHA
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