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Question
Posted by: Amy | 2010/05/18

Anal Sex

I want to try anal sex but I know the first time will hurt. What do I need to do or have my partner do to prepare me and make it less painful?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Amy,

The adventure of exploring anal play and penetrative anal sex can be exciting and pleasureable for many and for some once they have explored this come to the conclusion it is not for them.

Some important pointers with penetrative anal sex is basic hygiene i.e. a warm bath or shower and soap, the availability of waterbased lube, a warm and comfortable environment and patience to take things slow to start.

The anus does not produce lubrication in response to stimulation thus the need for the use of waterbased lube.

The anal sphincter is not under your voluntary control, but it does and can accommodate to penetration, just as it is able to accommodate when you pass faeces.

I often suggest to clients to first slowly experiment on themselves using a lubricated finger then a lubricated dildo or vibrator.

Firstly stimulate the anal opening with your lubricated finger and enjoy the sensations and relax. You will notice that you sphincter involuntarily clinches at first until it gets used to the sensation. Then slowly put pressure against your anal opening with your lubricated finger until the sphincter itself relaxes and allows the tip of your finger in, it may immediately clench again. Keep your finger still until the sphincter gets used to the sensation of having something there. It will again relax and you can push a bit deeper and the clenching and relaxing process may repeat a few times until the sphincter relaxes more and you are slowly able to do penetrative thrusting type movements as the sphincter relaxes more and more.

A similar slow to start process, using alot of lube, should be followed when attempting penile penetrative anal sex. The sphincter must be allowed time to accommodate and relax around a slowly inserted lubricated penis. Once relaxed penetrative thrusting can increase in vigour.

Some couples find starting first with rimming (tongue to anus oral stimulation, followed by using finger and or vibrator stimulation of the anal sphincter first then followed by penile penetration to work best until they are more confident and experienced with anal sex.

Also remember that depending on the rhythm of your bowel movements to consider the possible presence of faeces in your lower bowels which could be a bit messy. Please read up on douching in preparation for anal penetrative sex.

Also remember that if you are unsure of your partner's HIV status, always use a condom during anal sex.

Enjoy the exploration.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/05/18

Dear Amy,

The adventure of exploring anal play and penetrative anal sex can be exciting and pleasureable for many and for some once they have explored this come to the conclusion it is not for them.

Some important pointers with penetrative anal sex is basic hygiene i.e. a warm bath or shower and soap, the availability of waterbased lube, a warm and comfortable environment and patience to take things slow to start.

The anus does not produce lubrication in response to stimulation thus the need for the use of waterbased lube.

The anal sphincter is not under your voluntary control, but it does and can accommodate to penetration, just as it is able to accommodate when you pass faeces.

I often suggest to clients to first slowly experiment on themselves using a lubricated finger then a lubricated dildo or vibrator.

Firstly stimulate the anal opening with your lubricated finger and enjoy the sensations and relax. You will notice that you sphincter involuntarily clinches at first until it gets used to the sensation. Then slowly put pressure against your anal opening with your lubricated finger until the sphincter itself relaxes and allows the tip of your finger in, it may immediately clench again. Keep your finger still until the sphincter gets used to the sensation of having something there. It will again relax and you can push a bit deeper and the clenching and relaxing process may repeat a few times until the sphincter relaxes more and you are slowly able to do penetrative thrusting type movements as the sphincter relaxes more and more.

A similar slow to start process, using alot of lube, should be followed when attempting penile penetrative anal sex. The sphincter must be allowed time to accommodate and relax around a slowly inserted lubricated penis. Once relaxed penetrative thrusting can increase in vigour.

Some couples find starting first with rimming (tongue to anus oral stimulation, followed by using finger and or vibrator stimulation of the anal sphincter first then followed by penile penetration to work best until they are more confident and experienced with anal sex.

Also remember that depending on the rhythm of your bowel movements to consider the possible presence of faeces in your lower bowels which could be a bit messy. Please read up on douching in preparation for anal penetrative sex.

Also remember that if you are unsure of your partner's HIV status, always use a condom during anal sex.

Enjoy the exploration.

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