Posted by: girly | 2009-06-23


My hubby and i are going away with friends for the weekend ( actually a swingers/partner swopping weekend ) . As it is not the first time, i know at some stage i will be subjected to anal sex. As i dont wat to spoil the party ( last time the others were watching ) is there anything i can use that will not make it so painfull at first ?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

The straight forward answer is to suggest that you use PLENTY of lubricant and ask the person to go slowly. The anus is not meant to be penetrated sexually, it is a learned skill to relax the sphincter and can take time and practice. Some people use their finger and then sex toys to train the anus to relax sufficiently.

The other response relates to my concern that you feel that you will 'subjected' to doing anything that you don't really want to do and that you feel in some way under pressure to 'be a good sport'. Are you sure you are okay with this? Furthermore, do you have all the information you need? You are aware that the lining of the anus is much more fragile than the vagina and can be torn/damaged by vigorous thrusting. The lining of the anus is not self-lubricating, this is another reason to use plenty of lubricant as to much friction can result in abrasions. The lining of the anus is very absorbtive, this means that any STI will be more easily absorbed into the body via anal sex if condoms aren't used. Finally, you should not have the same penis/object penetrate you vaginally or orally without cleansing after anal sex because of the possibility of bacterial infection.

Consider carefully what you want for yourself, and I struggle to imagine that your 'friends' would have a problem with you saying 'no' to something...enjoy but take care of yourself.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Free | 2009-06-26

I agree with' s not a race thing - who knows what goes on behind close doors right?! So let' s keep to girly' s dilemma. Not my kind of thing either but take Anon#2' s advise - be protected! Be sure this is what you want your first experience to be like - everyone watching and all!

Reply to Free
Posted by: Annon01 | 2009-06-26

I think it is disgusting andi am white ok Justin, the rasist thing is uncalled for.

Girly if you really enjoy this then go for it i am just the kind that find it disgusting. doesnt it affect your and hubbys relationship
cos i know i wont be able to take it if i knew my man was having sex with another woman not tosay sitting and watching it

Reply to Annon01
Posted by: Anon | 2009-06-25

Previous post to girly..

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Anon.. | 2009-06-25

Pls fill me in on this if possible..
Would love to get involved..

Reply to Anon..
Posted by: Anon | 2009-06-25

Its not a race thing..
U dont need to bring that up, who are you to judge people...
By the way I' m Indian, and i really dont like your attitude, not just to whites, but u suck..

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Justin | 2009-06-24

this is crap, i am sure you are a bunch of white folks doing this hey, cause only white people will be this nasty. Sis you all crazy. i am sure a lot of others will agree with me.

Reply to Justin
Posted by: Lady man | 2009-06-23

Hi Girly

I just want to know. Did you ask your husband to do this swopping or did your husband ask you. How did you get the friends involved in this to take part. And what happens. How do you start. Is it a game you play or what.

Reply to Lady man
Posted by: Peter | 2009-06-23

Lucky you, i wish one day i could be one of the group. How did you get to do this, where to start, or where to go ?

Reply to Peter
Posted by: stokvela | 2009-06-23

try out K-Ygel - which you can get off the shelf ( check Click' s and some Chemists) - make sure that when doing an*l atleast ask the guys to use condoms.

Reply to stokvela
Posted by: Joncwin | 2009-06-23

i think any waterbased lotion (lots of it) shoud do the trick.
If it hurts to much tell the guys to do each other and see how they enjoy it?

Reply to Joncwin
Posted by: Anon#2 | 2009-06-23

Subjected to anal sex? I think it sounds like hell - hope you' re protected, and I' d definitely be worried about turning up in some amateur film on the Net if I were you. These things have a way of being found by bosses and relatives - unsavoury, to say the least.

Reply to Anon#2
Posted by: D | 2009-06-23

Sounds more like you dont want to do this swinging thing.....subjected, spoil the party, painfull, just words I picked up on.

Lots of foreplay, lots of alcohol and lots of lubrication.
I hope you are not forced to do this.

anyways good luck

Reply to D

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.