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Question
Posted by: Debbie | 2011/02/15

Anal

My bf wants to have anal sex but im afraid to do it because he accidentally slipped it in one night only for a few seconds and it was very painful.is it possible to do it without experiencing any pain?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Learning to relax this sphincter can take time, so if you are keen to try this, try try again, but be patient with yourself...and if you don't ever feel comfortable with it, try other types of sexual activity. It may be that the idea of anal sex is in fact what is stimulating (to you or your partner), and so if this is the case, possibly try having him masturbate around your anus or clamp his penis between the cheeks of your bottom to provide the friction - whilst it's not quite anal sex, it may be exciting and a reasonable compromise if you struggle to relax enough to reduce pain.

If you would like to try, here are some tips...
- make sure you can trust your partner and that he will move only at the pace you are comfortable with (try different positions and see what works best for you), speak clearly and agree that he will stop when you tell him to (that he won't thrust when you're not ready for him to move!);
- use kegels exercises (tensing and relaxing the band of muscles that surround the openings to your urethra, vagina and anus) can assist you to know when those muscles are relaxed, concentrate on relaxing your anus;
- use PLENTY of lubricant (the anus is not self-lubricating and as it is thin and tear easily, lubricant is essential);
- try to get used to the feel first with smaller objects than a penis (e.g. finger) and gradually move on to seeing if you can relax with his penis inside...move slowly. If you use objects, make sure it's not sharp, cannot break, or the bottom of the object is flared so that it can't be lost inside the anus.

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Sparky | 2011/02/16

KY JELLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! always works the best.

Reply to Sparky
Posted by: Enzo | 2011/02/15

He put it in the wrong hole?

bwahahahahaha

Reply to Enzo
Posted by: Theuns | 2011/02/15

Thanks Debbie - hope you can sort out that mail problem

Reply to Theuns
Posted by: Debbie | 2011/02/15

thanks alot saira.that makes me feel better

Reply to Debbie
Posted by: Debbie | 2011/02/15

no problem theuns im having a problem with my email but will definately chat if i can get it sorted

Reply to Debbie
Posted by: Theuns | 2011/02/15

Debbie my addtess is theunsandrews at gmail dot com . That is if you want to just chat

Reply to Theuns
Posted by: Saira | 2011/02/15

drint lots of wine, so that your anal lost resistance, then have anal sex with b/f. First time done, then it will be painless and awasome.

Reply to Saira
Posted by: Theuns | 2011/02/15

Debbie i hope you enjoy it. Can we perhaps be friends - just friends?

Reply to Theuns
Posted by: Debbie | 2011/02/15

haha we were doing doggy style and the lights were out because we didnt want my mom to come in and instead of putting it in the right whole he put it in the wrong one

Reply to Debbie
Posted by: HUH | 2011/02/15

How does it accidently just slip in??

Reply to HUH
Posted by: Theuns | 2011/02/15

Thanks for the information - i agree there is a first time for everything. My girlfriend never wants to try it, although i would love to try it.

Reply to Theuns
Posted by: Debbie | 2011/02/15

im 21.it happened so fast that i didnt really get the feel of it.i want to try it but like i said i was concerned about the pain but would like to give it a proper chance before i say no.if i dont like it i wont do it again but i thought i might as well try it out

Reply to Debbie
Posted by: Theuns | 2011/02/15

Not been nasty - but why do you want to do soemthing that you are not enjoying? How old are you?

Reply to Theuns
Posted by: Debbie | 2011/02/15

Thanks alot Theuns i think i would like to try it but wasnt sure what to do.thanks i will take your advice

Reply to Debbie
Posted by: Theuns | 2011/02/15

It is always painfull the first few times. Try using some lubricants.

Reply to Theuns
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011/02/15

Learning to relax this sphincter can take time, so if you are keen to try this, try try again, but be patient with yourself...and if you don't ever feel comfortable with it, try other types of sexual activity. It may be that the idea of anal sex is in fact what is stimulating (to you or your partner), and so if this is the case, possibly try having him masturbate around your anus or clamp his penis between the cheeks of your bottom to provide the friction - whilst it's not quite anal sex, it may be exciting and a reasonable compromise if you struggle to relax enough to reduce pain.

If you would like to try, here are some tips...
- make sure you can trust your partner and that he will move only at the pace you are comfortable with (try different positions and see what works best for you), speak clearly and agree that he will stop when you tell him to (that he won't thrust when you're not ready for him to move!);
- use kegels exercises (tensing and relaxing the band of muscles that surround the openings to your urethra, vagina and anus) can assist you to know when those muscles are relaxed, concentrate on relaxing your anus;
- use PLENTY of lubricant (the anus is not self-lubricating and as it is thin and tear easily, lubricant is essential);
- try to get used to the feel first with smaller objects than a penis (e.g. finger) and gradually move on to seeing if you can relax with his penis inside...move slowly. If you use objects, make sure it's not sharp, cannot break, or the bottom of the object is flared so that it can't be lost inside the anus.

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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