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Question
Posted by: Janedoe | 2009/11/09

am pregnant and not in the mood for sex

I am almost 7mths preg and have an 11mth old boy and am exhausted. Iv totally lost my libido, nothing my husband does helps. Will it ever come back?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

you will most certainly regain your libido. however, owing to your present situation, you have a full right to be exhausted.

try and explain your situation to your husband. if he still wishes to engage in sexual activities, you can compromise my masturbating him or by offering him oral sex. in this way, his desire is met and you do not need to engage in penetrative sex. in return, he can run you a hot bath, massage your feet and take care of the kid. this may be significant enough to turn back-on your desire.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Woman | 2009/11/09

I know, it really sucks to have your body taken over by an alien! Being dry is perfectly normal, don' t worry about that. Durex has some lovely lubricants, you might as well make it fun :)

And nobody feels sexy at all with a huuuuge bump and an extra 20 odd kilo' s! Good luck, it' s great that you care enough to ask advice!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Janedoe | 2009/11/09

Thanx for the advice. It kind of helps to know that im not alone. We' ve had to end up using lubricant as i dont get stimulated either. And then to top that off it burns. It' s so depressing :-(

Reply to Janedoe
Posted by: Woman | 2009/11/09

Hi Janedoe, I have 3 kids myself so I know what you mean! Our bodies are programmed to first look after our offspring when they are too small to fend for themselves. Sex takes a distant second after that.

Relax, and let your husband know that this will pass. You are focusing on his children too,and he should have at least some understanding of the massive changes your body went through and is going through and will go through.

Rule of thumb says the first year is a mess ito of sex, and by the end of your children' s first year you should have more regular sleep and you will have adapted physically to your new schedule.

My advice is to just make love as and when you can. We made full use of the night feeds! You can' t go out to have fun anyway, right? So just have all the fun you can at home, with your hubby and your kids.

So, your answer is that your libido ought to return any time from 7 months to 1 year after your child' s birth. Remember, the more you have sex, the more you will want sex, but chill out until after peanut 2 arrives.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: sexologist | 2009/11/09

you will most certainly regain your libido. however, owing to your present situation, you have a full right to be exhausted.

try and explain your situation to your husband. if he still wishes to engage in sexual activities, you can compromise my masturbating him or by offering him oral sex. in this way, his desire is met and you do not need to engage in penetrative sex. in return, he can run you a hot bath, massage your feet and take care of the kid. this may be significant enough to turn back-on your desire.

Reply to sexologist

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