advertisement
Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/01/07

Am I wrong

I have taken a decision to cut my sisters out of my life. They dont call me to check if i am okay. When I call them they never answer. However, when its payday and they have money problems they know my number. I am a single parent and my ex does not pay maintenance but I will never ask them for money and if I do I pay it back or they always tell me they never have. Our father is not well off so he is not able to help them and our mom passed away many years ago. I got even more angry when I saw on facebook where my sister was looking for one of her friends but she never sends me a message. The money issue has been going on for about 8 years and I' ve had enough because I cannot continue supporting my family as I have my child to worry about. Am I wrong in cutting them off. I still feel guilty about it.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why on earth should you be expected to financially support your otherwise uncaring sisters ? Why do they expect anyone else to support them, rather than recognizing this as their own duty ?
As Liza says, by all means resolve to give them not one cent more money - but if they are capable of having any relationship with you rather than your money, there's no need to give that up as well.
You have absolutely nothing at all to feel guilty about, for haing made a sensible and over-due decision.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Liza | 2010/01/08

My older sister is the same. She' s always looking for handouts. About 7 years ago, I lived with her for a while before I got divorced. Our agreement was that I would pay R1500 rent plus pay for the domestic worker. But in the end, she would ALWAYS find an ' extra'  expense that she had to pay because I was staying with her. One of her favourites was that it was my fault the electricity bill was so high. What did she expect? That the electricity bill would be the same with extra people in the house? Then after I moved out, she would still complain to me that they didn' t have food in the house etc. The last time I went and bought her R1000 worth of groceries. I cut out even my most basic luxuries like having my ironing done to be able to buy her the groceries. A week later I visited - she had stocked up on expensive cooldrinks, Whiskas pouches for her cat etc. My poor cat was eating Checkers brand pellets.

After that I vowed that I would NEVER help her out again. And I never have. We still talk, visit etc. but when she wants money - I tell her that I' m broke - even if I have extra money in the bank. The only person I will help is my brother - because he is always there to help me. You don' t have to cut them out of your life completely - just don' t give them money. If they get pushy about it - give them an excuse. A good one is that your car broke/needed a service and it cost you an arm and a leg to have fixed. Or that the electricity department made a mistake with your bill and you have to pay it to have your electricity stay on while they investigate the mistake.

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: qwerty | 2010/01/08

I don' t think you are wrong, I just think you' ve had enough.... And I can' t blame you. Your child should be your first priority, not spoilt sisters who only use you for money you can' t afford to give them. I' d let them know exactly why I' m breaking contact, if I were you... Then it' s up to them. If they don' t want a relationship, only money, they will be out of your life. But maybe it' ll be a wake-up call to them?
Good luck!!

Reply to qwerty
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/08

Why on earth should you be expected to financially support your otherwise uncaring sisters ? Why do they expect anyone else to support them, rather than recognizing this as their own duty ?
As Liza says, by all means resolve to give them not one cent more money - but if they are capable of having any relationship with you rather than your money, there's no need to give that up as well.
You have absolutely nothing at all to feel guilty about, for haing made a sensible and over-due decision.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement