Our expert says:
It is never wise to begin a relationship with someone based on the assumption that they will change. Unless the relationship will be really satisfying with both of you just as you are, its probably not a good idea. We wouldn't start a relationship by assuming that the other person will have major surgery on their legs to shorten them so as to match our height, and expecting some similarly drastic psychological revision is equally unrealistic.
Absolutely NEVER think that marriage will somehow magically transform someone --- it only increases the likelihood that they will stay just as they are, only more so.
You're not being "too emotional;" but far too unrealistic. This is how he is, and that includes apparently being selfish, clumsy, and inconsiderate, at least. See a personal counsellor to help you to feel more self-confident, better able to reiew this situation realistically, and more able to make sensible decisions about your future. Surely you deserve more than this ?
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