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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/11/30

Am I waiting for something that is already over.

My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for about 6 years, we also have a child. 2 months ago he told me that there was something he had to deal with (a personal issue that I cannot discuss on this platform). He explained to me that he needed about 6 months to himself. He told me that he should be back to himself by next year February as he really needed some space to do what he needs to do to sort out his life. I understand that he has been having a bad time since the beginning of the year and appreciate the fact that he was honest with me.
Initially he used to call me on weekends and during the week and then suddenly that has all stopped, he doesn’ t even call our child anymore. All communication from him to me has stopped completely. If I don’ t call him I won’ t hear from him, days will go by without so much as a call. When we spoke today (I called him again) I joked about something, instead he got all upset with me and told me that maybe it’ s best that I move on with my life and find another boyfriend. I have been feeling lately as if this relationship is definitely over but he doesn’ t have the courage to tell me so. I think I may be waiting for him but something inside me is telling me to let it go as he has probably moved on already. I want honesty from him but nothing is forthcoming. Am I fooling myself into believing that he has not moved on? Should I cut my losses and carry on with my life?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its hard to respond without any idea of what this mysterious "thing" is that has needed him to go away for so long, and so completely. If you have a child together, he is at least still responsible for paying maintenance for the child, whatever else he's getting up to. he cannot evade that responsibility.
From the litle information you provide( and maybe you don't have much more yourself ) he may indeed have decided to "move on" - but in a rude and cowardly way, without consideration or simple good manners

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Storm | 2010/12/01

Girl leave him, your gard feeling is telling you to move on. He is a coward to tell you the truth, but you cant see pass your feelings right now I guess.

I had a friend who had a boyfriend who used to do exactly that to her, each time I would tell her the reasons he kept on asking for break from her, was that he wanted to cheat with a clear conscious, cause each time he would ask for a break, there''ll be rummours in town that he''s got a new chick then after, three weeks or so he''d come back asking her to fix things.

He preyed on her love by telling her he was dealing with things, and she finally heard that she was getting married on the wedding day from the his best man.

lits up to you, but you know what lies she tells you.

Reply to Storm
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/30

Its hard to respond without any idea of what this mysterious "thing" is that has needed him to go away for so long, and so completely. If you have a child together, he is at least still responsible for paying maintenance for the child, whatever else he's getting up to. he cannot evade that responsibility.
From the litle information you provide( and maybe you don't have much more yourself ) he may indeed have decided to "move on" - but in a rude and cowardly way, without consideration or simple good manners

Reply to cybershrink

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