Posted by: Little sister | 2009-02-20

Am I unreasonable - sister' s sex claims

THere' s a lot of circumstances surrounding this, but I' m gonna keep to the most important issue I have.

My older sister who is also married, told me some months ago, that my husband asked her to have an affair, and that he asked her whether he could come to her hotel room when she was here on course. Then she said he wanted to have sex with her. She even went as far as saying he tried to rape her, which I didnt even tell my husband about because it is just so ridiculous, and it would make him go crazy to hear he was accused of something like that, which is totally in contradiction to the type of man he is.

Naturally I asked my husband about it, he said its not true, I believed him because I know him, plus the things she said and the actual times and the situation surrounding these allegations, doesnt add up or make sense at all. So my next step was to go back to her and ask her to explain to me why on earth she made those hurtful serious allegations, and if it did happen as she claims, why did she not tell me as soon as it happened? Surely as my sister and as close as we were, she would want me to know what kind of man I' m married to. Now here' s my question, my sister said she wont talk to me about the things she said because she doesnt have to explain anything to me, she only has to explain to her husband. And my reasoning says, this affected me in a big way, so I need answers to certain questions, not even to verify whether my husband did or didnt do what she claims, but more for me the question is why my own sister would let my husand make sexual advances towards her and not feel the need to warn me at least.

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Our expert says:
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Whatever happens between your sister and her husband, is something she can reasonably claim i confidential to the pair of them. But when she makes accusations against your husband, and to you, that's no longer conidential, and she owes both of you an explanation. However, you're unlikely to drag any useful explanation from her if she is unwilling. Maybe you can just conclude that you can trust your sister much less than you thought you could

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