Posted by: SillyMe | 2008-11-10

Am I unreasonable, 21 year old to leave

I would like to know if I have a screw loose for wanting a 21 year old to live on his own and learn to survive the same way I had to when starting a job. I realise that they just finished studies but the father insists to want to give them and pay for everything and want them to stay in the house until they supposedly get on their feet. My view is that because they get everything on a plate they will never learn to become responsible because it is always so easy when you get everything as and when you ask or even expect it to be there.

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Our expert says:
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That sounds like a screw very definitely NOT loose ! Now, it may be both realistic and kindly to agree that they can't immediately find work and aford a place of their own, but they can be given a realistic amouint of time in which to achieve that, rather than an open-ended arrangement. There's a difference between spoiling a child by giving them everything they want, and bein g supportive in helping them to be able to get things for themselves

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Our users say:
Posted by: Ruby | 2008-11-10

Oh my goodness, I also has big fights with my husband regarding this. My opinion is that you don' t do your child any favours by doing and giving him EVERYTHING he wants and not teaching him to stand on his won 2 feet and learning that things not just happen when you want it to.

I really think we are fighting a lost battle here and I sometimes wonder if I mustn' t just let it be and see what happens.

Good luck.

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