Our expert says:
If she wants something as ridiculous and useless and frivolous, at ANY age, as a brow lash and tint or whatever that is, then she is foolish. Is she perhaps senile or developing senility ?
Maybe she formed bad habits of wastefulness when married to the rich man, but it doesn't need much intelligence for her to understand her position has CHANGED.
Get a lock on the fridge and the food cupboards, and explain that you can't afford to cater for her greed, and can't trust her to not waste the food you can ill afford to buy. Leave out JUSt enough for her midday meal while you are at work, and tell her that as she abuses your hospitality selfishly, you cant afford to trust her.
When she complains that you are "counting her food", say "You bet ! I have to do so. But its MY food I'm counting, not yours, as you don't but any of it. "
Its mysterious what hold she has on you, as you refuse to discuss this aspect of the problem, but one can't help wondering why you feel you absolutely HAVE to totally support her. If she is dementing, for instance, or becomes physially ill, it will be impossible for you to provide the care she may need, and she may need to go into some state facility, and it may be worthwhile to start looking for such a place, as they're hard to find. Does she have any pension, or otherwise make any actual contribution ?
You are not in the least unreasonable to be bothered about this. Yes indeed, lety her feed herself on her pension ( especially as you are apparently providing her with housing, electrivity, and so on, free of charge. What else does she otherwise spend it on ? It may be useful for her to learn that if she eats everything today then yes, tomorow she will be hungry.
I understand why you feel as though you are being punished, but the pubnishment comes not from God, but from a selfish and greedy old woman, and from your own fixed belief that you MUST look after her.
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