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Question
Posted by: CM | 2008-11-13

Am i too much...

Background:
out of a broken home, i attended about 10 or so different schools all over Africa. Father married for 6th time. No contact with family (only dad). non drinker...

Am i too much for my kids, they are 8 and 4, girl and boy, I have panic attacks from worrying where they are sometimes, even though my daughetr only goes to school and back (with a safe driver). Weekends and holidays we are always together, they are not allowed to sleep out nor play out (only if we go with and only if we know the other child' s parents). If i look at some parents- they dont give a crap what happens to their kids, we cling for dear life to our kids when we are outside or shopping... is this behaviour of mine normal, or am i being crazily over protective to a point where i have panic attacks if she is late from school for instance...I know my childhood is to blame... but how can i let go (only a small bit) and not over crowd them like this- they are my babies......

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I doubt that you're "too much " for your kids, but maybe a bit over-anxious. A child is always safer if awae of risks and of self-protection, and not too anxious nor too naive to recognize a risk when it arises.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: CM | 2008-11-17

Michaele,
What a happy surprise to see your post.... so i am not a freak after all..... I went to JHB with the hubby this weekend and the kids stayed at home with their Grandpa... and lo and behold!!!!! they were fine (even though i phoned every hour....)

Reply to CM
Posted by: michaele | 2008-11-13

Cm, i don' t know you, but i too am very protective as a mom. U gave me hope in an earlier post re our home that we lost &  it has made the world of difference knowing u made it work for ur kids. I know how hard it is, so I bet u a fantastic mom. I’ m very protective and my kids love that security knowing I have their best interest at heart. With the world the way it is, rather be safe than sorry.

Reply to michaele
Posted by: Maria | 2008-11-13

CM, you are raising children who are going to end up being adults who are either scared of everything or strong and independent. I have a six year old. Like you we don' t allow her to sleep out and very rarely does she go and play somewhere if we don' t go with. BUT you have to gradually let them spread their wings and learn to be independent. Find ways to do this that is safe, e.g. send them to pay for something at a shop while watching from a distance, let them play at friend (whose parents you know), for an hour while you go shopping, if you know your neighbours send the 8 year old round to borrow something... Life is dangerous in SA at the moment and we must keep them safe without smothering them, a difficult balance to achieve.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: CM | 2008-11-13

i am petrified to know that there are so many sick people out there that can harm my kids. Will i harm them by keeping them close to us...

Reply to CM

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