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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/09/16

Am i too harsh

I feel like ive been the only person in this friendship. We''ve been friends for 7 years and in this time we had an argument and havent spoken for 2 years which we botyh agreed was pure torture, then we had a disagreement and it lasted for 3 weeks. We both agreed that was not adult like and if we had issues we would tell each other we need space. I have been trying to talk to him for about 2 months - he never returns my calls, e-mails, etc. Another friend said that you have to nurture friendships in order for it to continue. I think he may no longer need me as a friend and not man enough to tell him. After trying everyday for 3 weeks i decided that i am walking away and not ever talking to him. As from now he does not exist. My other friends are saying i am too harsh because they know we are very good friends. How can i be in a friendship if he doesnt want to be, when things are good in his life he doesnt need me but when things are bad then he knows where to find me and i am really tired of all this. Either you are my friend or you are not.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

"Friends" mean so many different things to different people. And Facebook "friends" are the most trivial of all. Why do you keep on trying to communicate with someone who apprarently doesn't want to communicate with you ? If he was only friendly ( not the same as being a friend ) when he needed you around, and now doesn't need you, that wasn't friendship.
If you have to keep pleasing for contact, this isnt friendship. You're being realistic, not harsh.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/16

"Friends" mean so many different things to different people. And Facebook "friends" are the most trivial of all. Why do you keep on trying to communicate with someone who apprarently doesn't want to communicate with you ? If he was only friendly ( not the same as being a friend ) when he needed you around, and now doesn't need you, that wasn't friendship.
If you have to keep pleasing for contact, this isnt friendship. You're being realistic, not harsh.

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