Our expert says:
Firstly, congratulations on working effectively to control your own alcoholism. Unfortunately it does sound as though your husband is also alcoholic / a problem drinker, and in denial, so ignoring the extent of the problems he has and causes, in this regard.
You know from your own experience the difficulties of persuading an alcoholic that they have a mnajor problem which is causing major problems for others - he shouldn'y need to be out drinking at night, or visiting clubs, if he is well and doing his duty to his wife and family. Do NOT have children with a man so out of control and so unwilling to face facts.
As with all alcoholics one can only encourage them to recognize how grossly their life has become distorted and centered on drinking, and wait until they are ready to acept this fact, and the fact that they need treatment and must work hard, personally, to get good results. As you know, you can't do this for him.
Sorry for the delay in responding, but my instructions were ignored. This forum was supposed to be CLOSED to all messages throughout Thursday 21st and right through Monday 25th and only to re-open on Tuesday 26th. As my instructions were ignored I am horrified to discover a very large number of questions that should not have been possible to post, which have of course been unanswered while I was away. This makes me very angry and disappointed. I will try to respond as best I can, though very long message cannot possibly achieve full attention.
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