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Question
Posted by: osy | 2012/01/23

Am i really arrogant

I have been having on and offs with my gf this month and it somewhat gets to me. And I am hoping that maybe some of you forumers will share some light and if I am wrong, i should change. This started sometime ago, when we discussed money problems in our relationship ....at first it had to do with me not giving her money to do her hair. And later progressed to other essentials like ponds and so forth. I have always felt that she should pay for those things as works.....and I can honestly help where I am genuinely needed.

Since then.....I have proceeded to at times buying her some of the staff..ponds and what not for the sake of the peace. Two weeks ago, I asked her to come over and she told me that she will come but we will not have sex because her hair is messed up. I felt it would be stupid if I am to pay for her hair for sex..... i decided not to do it. During this period I have been to her place to see a number of times, which is not fun because the cloud of unpaid hair lingers in her thoughts, recently I had just gotten into a financial constraints cause the money I was expecting did not come through and I had to pay for the unforseen expenses.

She made a comment that I am always broke and only because I am not able to pay for her staff. in the past she has even suggested, I sell 1 of my properties so I can be financially free. The thing is I am able to afford anything I need. My problem is not so much about the products but the fact that it should define our relationship....like that is what I as a man should be able to do. I sort feel blackmailed....I of cause have tried to talk to her about it but she thinks I am arogant and unreasonable.

Am I really being arrogant or should I just do as she wants even though I do not believe in on principle? I am human and not that experienced in woman relations - so I can be wrong? what are your views? This is really troubling me.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If this is genuinely a relationship between adults, why does she expect YOU to give her money to have her hair done ? Does she give you money for a haircut ?
( I'm not sure what you mean about "ponds" )
She sounds materialistic, greedy and effectively selling sex for gifts she demands from you. She sounds FAR too concerned abouit your money, and not about you and your feelings. That's a gold-digger, and not very far removed from informal prostitution. If I were you, I would run a mile to get away from such a person.
This is NOT a healthy relationship, as it is all about her and her demands. ENd it before she makes you more miserable ; you have been wise to spot what's happening and hesitate to meet her unreasonable and greedy demands. Tell her you can't afford her, and that is's now over, and you would rather be seeing a less greedy and materialistic girl, and you're sure she will find another sugar daddy to look after her hair

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bron | 2012/01/24

I have always been very proud of providing myself with the essentials to feel feminine and pretty. I would never let my husband by me products - besides he doesnt have a clue because my beauty regime is my business.
He does give me the bulk of his money to support my income to run the household, but as far as buying or paying for my personal hygiene and beauty? No way I would never let that happen

Reply to Bron
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/01/23

This is not a loving relation ship that is going any where.

However for the low price of some cream and the odd hairdo in return for sex it is probaby a good deal. Just ensure that it is safe sex and you are both fully aware of the arrangement! As Onnica says you usually have 2 spend a lot more.

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: onicca | 2012/01/23

She is cheap some gorls are selling sex for Z4''s and lambhoghini and she is selling it for ponds and hair. Run and never look back sweety come to mama

Reply to onicca
Posted by: Ph | 2012/01/23

Ponds is a facial cream that females (well as far as I know, but things may have changed since the last time I used it) use Prof. @ Osys, my brother to tell the truth you gf falls within the school of thought that thinks that a man is a provider and if he cannot afford minimal things like ponds and hair then he clearly is not ready to provide for a family. This is definitely not prostitution and neither is it gold digging. From your facts she simply can afford this items therefore there might be an underlining reason why she wants you to buy those for her. I remember from my personal experience i started working at around 19 years and therefore dated varsity students but i was told that certain femine products (sanitary pads, perfume, facial products etc) he should make a plan of buying for me (I think this is where his ability to provide and think better than me comes into the picture). You gf is not asking you to buy her a car or transfer one of your properties into her name but clearly just want you to appreciate the fact that for her to look and smell nice it cost money and time.

Reply to Ph
Posted by: PLease | 2012/01/23

Shes insane that one.You must put her to her place.Ive been with my man for 7 years and i still do my own hair nails make up evrything.And it feels good doing all this myself.She got issues..ke parasite.
Theres nothing wrong if you take her out of your own will and coz you have the finances not for her to nagg you and evn say she wont give you some because of her hair..lol
Hai no some women.Shes working mos.Maybe if she was asking nicely,and not make it sound like it is your duty to make sure that her hair looks good.

Reply to PLease
Posted by: almost mad | 2012/01/23

Your gf sounds selfish. If she works why should you pay for her hair? thats weired. It might be different if you lived together and shared bills, but that isnt the case here. Also I am curious as to what her hair costs to do as she seems to be doing her hair often.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/23

If this is genuinely a relationship between adults, why does she expect YOU to give her money to have her hair done ? Does she give you money for a haircut ?
( I'm not sure what you mean about "ponds" )
She sounds materialistic, greedy and effectively selling sex for gifts she demands from you. She sounds FAR too concerned abouit your money, and not about you and your feelings. That's a gold-digger, and not very far removed from informal prostitution. If I were you, I would run a mile to get away from such a person.
This is NOT a healthy relationship, as it is all about her and her demands. ENd it before she makes you more miserable ; you have been wise to spot what's happening and hesitate to meet her unreasonable and greedy demands. Tell her you can't afford her, and that is's now over, and you would rather be seeing a less greedy and materialistic girl, and you're sure she will find another sugar daddy to look after her hair

Reply to cybershrink

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