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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2010/08/12

Am I pushing it?

My boyfriend and I broke up 3 years ago, we were initially dating for 3 years and have a 4 yr old daughter. He proposed the first time we were together and it never materialised. This time he is saying the same things, I told him that nothing will happen until he puts a ring on my finger. I also told him that I am not going to hang around for another 3 years waiting for him to maybe propose. He told me its going to happen and just to be patient. Am i wrong in telling him that if it doesnt happen soon it will never happen because the first time round he could''ve been unsure but the 2nd time round he should know. Am i pushing him away or am I right in telling him how I feel.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he really does want to mary you, what is stopping him ? I don't mean demand that he does so tomorrow - but what specifically is it he is waiting for ? This should be shared with you and discussed. Is it financial security ? Better worked at together. Does he have other things he wants to sort out first ? Ditto. Is he actually still unsure of his feelings for you, or maybe unsure of whether he is mature enough to be an effective husband ? Those would have been better o think out before he created a baby with you.
But the point is, either he's dithering mindlessly, or he has reasons for delaying the decision, and you deserve to know what they are, and how they fit with your own plans

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2010/08/12

Do you want to sit around and wait for the guy? In fact do you want to marry him at all? I think telling him how you feel is an excellent idea.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/12

If he really does want to mary you, what is stopping him ? I don't mean demand that he does so tomorrow - but what specifically is it he is waiting for ? This should be shared with you and discussed. Is it financial security ? Better worked at together. Does he have other things he wants to sort out first ? Ditto. Is he actually still unsure of his feelings for you, or maybe unsure of whether he is mature enough to be an effective husband ? Those would have been better o think out before he created a baby with you.
But the point is, either he's dithering mindlessly, or he has reasons for delaying the decision, and you deserve to know what they are, and how they fit with your own plans

Reply to cybershrink

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