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Question
Posted by: Mint | 2010/12/22

Am I missing something here or must I see a doc?


I enjoy people but I am very happy on my own also I don’ t need people to entertain me. I don’ t particularly have hobbies well if you can consider sleep as a hobby I prefer to do that if I have any free time which between work house things ect is not much time left. I don’ t have very close friends or any friends it does not interest me however when my work friends is around we have a good time laughing and chatting and sharing but I don’ t go out with them it is enough interaction for me during the day with other people. I love my family and the time with them, sometimes I prefer being on my own. NOW My husband thinks that I am not normal because I don’ t have hobbies or friends or go out ect .. Should I be worried about myself worst is that he thinks I am jealous possessive and controlling (because of these things) and I am not. Yes my ex cheated on me and yes in the beginning I was scared and unsure about myself and did not feel good about myself and blamed myself inside but with his help to point my behaviour out when I did something in that direction I managed to work through it and my emotions by myself and my self esteem improved and I explained to him where that came from and he understood and complimented me even on my behaviour recently that I am no longer that person but when he gets mad he will throw it at my face again. ... Is . I have been a loner all my life even at school I never really had friends I was happy to be on my own but why am I being put in a box with the wrong label on it " jealous controlling you name it" 
I am just content even if he walks out of the door today I will still be happy being on my own not having all this things that he say I should have.. I am content with myself.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The real issue is : Are you content to be the way you are ? OK< so your husband might asume that you'd be happier with more friends or hobbies, but if you're content with things as they are, there's really no need to change.
Now, if the way you interact wih him makes him feel as though you are jealous and controlling, that can indeed cause problems, and some marriage counselling sessions could help to sort this out.
Sounds like he recognizes what you have achieved, but like many of us, he throws up at you in an argument, whatever words might serve as weapons, even if they're not currently accurate.
Again, marriage counselling seems to be a good idea.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/22

The real issue is : Are you content to be the way you are ? OK< so your husband might asume that you'd be happier with more friends or hobbies, but if you're content with things as they are, there's really no need to change.
Now, if the way you interact wih him makes him feel as though you are jealous and controlling, that can indeed cause problems, and some marriage counselling sessions could help to sort this out.
Sounds like he recognizes what you have achieved, but like many of us, he throws up at you in an argument, whatever words might serve as weapons, even if they're not currently accurate.
Again, marriage counselling seems to be a good idea.

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