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Question
Posted by: Tokkie | 2011-10-21

Am I mad ?

I am 55 years old and believe me I am crazy about sex, every aspect of it BUT I dont want to have sex with my husband. After 32 years of verbal and mental abuse I can just not stand him anymore. I will not divorce because of the sake of my children. Tell me is it wrong to have a lover ???

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I am not in a position to say whether it is right or wrong - I will say that there are potentially serious consequences for this decision and you need to consider these before acting. Consequences include the possibility of guilt/confusionin yourself, possible health and safety concerns with a new partner, further conflict with your husband if he finds out, impact on the children if they find out.

Not an easy situation to be in, Tokkie, I wish you well.

Claire – SASHA

For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Andrew | 2011-10-26

Please indicate the children ages, you need better.

Reply to Andrew
Posted by: IX | 2011-10-24

if you are unhappy thake your kids and leave him? why are you holding onto a relationship that will not work and now you wan''t a lover. if he must find out he will physically abuse you.

think about your actions and get help

Reply to IX
Posted by: Chris758 | 2011-10-24

Tokkie, I would like to know if you had previous lovers? It sounds to me if you want someone to tell you it is ok to look elsewhere for sex......it is not ok and you will hurt your whole family if it comes out and believe me, it always comes out!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: Tokkie | 2011-10-23

JDI, move on with your liff, children must take second place,get on in life and enjoy. devorce the prick.

Reply to Tokkie
Posted by: Tokkie | 2011-10-22

I will prefer that then he can abuse her

Reply to Tokkie
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011-10-22

I am not in a position to say whether it is right or wrong - I will say that there are potentially serious consequences for this decision and you need to consider these before acting. Consequences include the possibility of guilt/confusionin yourself, possible health and safety concerns with a new partner, further conflict with your husband if he finds out, impact on the children if they find out.

Not an easy situation to be in, Tokkie, I wish you well.

Claire – SASHA

For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Reply to Sexologist
Posted by: jim | 2011-10-21

Do you feel it would it be wrong for your husband to take a lover ?

Reply to jim
Posted by: Bee | 2011-10-21

In a perfect and moral world I would say it is wrong....
However in this world we live in, anything goes.
So many of us cheat and lie and have lovers, sometimes more than one. Ultimately, it all depends on you and your conscience.
Yes it''s wrong, but does that mean you shouldn''t do it.........u decide !

Reply to Bee
Posted by: tokkie | 2011-10-21

what do you suggest then ? Is it fair to be verbally anemotionally abused

Reply to tokkie
Posted by: Anon4This | 2011-10-21

It is wrong to have a lover

Reply to Anon4This

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