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Question
Posted by: Zodwa | 2010/03/11

AM I LOOSING MY DREAM MAN?????

I am not sure what to call this but I have been single for the past two years staying with my daughter at the comfort of my luxury town house who is now 11 years.
I met this wonderful guy last year February he is one of the BEE guys with his own things as well. We both leave in Midrand and I work in Midrand as well and my child school is also in Midrand
I love and trust him BUT he suggested that we should move in together to his house since I am renting mine and he bought his house in an estate.
I am scared to move in with my dream man my worries are :

What if he tries to rape my daughter
What if one day he kicks us out
What if he abuses me and my daughter
What if he makes a move on my helper

I was never in a abusive relationship before
I was never raped before and I do not have any family member who was involved in such things.
I am so scared and it kills me inside.
What causes all this insecurities please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Eish, I.m hardly an expert in dream men. Come to think of it, I'm not even a dream man myself !
When you say you men DM "last February" - do you mean February 2009 or 2010 ? If this year, who'd obviously not know each other well enough to make such a decision or arrangement. But if you have known him for over a year, you should know each other. It makes sense to be cautious, but as you seem to recognize, you are catastrophizing, somehow expecting the very worst possibilities raoe, desertion and mayhem. IS he really the sort of guy who could realisticaly do any of those things ?
I wonder if you aren't as a background rather anxious and pessimistic, maybe even depressed, to think so easily of such awful things, and to find them so emotionally convincing. Maybe some personal counselling sessions could help to get things back into proportion ?

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4
Our users say:
Posted by: Hura | 2010/03/12

At least you cannot trust a stranger: I cannot trust the biological father of my child who is four, we where told to listen to our sixth sense &  mine tells me that my suspicions cannot be wrong. Im sure all those mother we see in the media had the same feeling at some poin and chose to ignore it, but I feel that I wont &  Im even prepared to die for her because that is what the father has been threatining me about if I continue with this suspicions

Reply to Hura
Posted by: Sam | 2010/03/12

You have EVERY reason to be so worried about your child, becuase it happens! It''s a horrible thing I know, but it''s a fact. Look after your child as best you can, it''s all you can do. But you need to learn to trust too I suppose. If I were you I''d have felt the same way. We live in a sick sick world.

Reply to Sam
Posted by: Zodwa | 2010/03/11

Thank you CS we met 2009 Feb and he is not that type of a man he is so loving and caring I just don''t knowwhat is wrong with me and sometimes even if I can read on the paper about child rape or abuse I have sleepness nights.
Watching the movie with the kind of child rape I worry the whole night and sleep in my child''s bedroom with her and sometimes I even become worried to send her to school with her transport driver

Reply to Zodwa
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/11

Eish, I.m hardly an expert in dream men. Come to think of it, I'm not even a dream man myself !
When you say you men DM "last February" - do you mean February 2009 or 2010 ? If this year, who'd obviously not know each other well enough to make such a decision or arrangement. But if you have known him for over a year, you should know each other. It makes sense to be cautious, but as you seem to recognize, you are catastrophizing, somehow expecting the very worst possibilities raoe, desertion and mayhem. IS he really the sort of guy who could realisticaly do any of those things ?
I wonder if you aren't as a background rather anxious and pessimistic, maybe even depressed, to think so easily of such awful things, and to find them so emotionally convincing. Maybe some personal counselling sessions could help to get things back into proportion ?

Reply to cybershrink

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