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Question
Posted by: Corne | 2010/07/01

Am I holding myself back

Its weird chatting to a doctor online but here we go. I am a father of two who loves my children to death but sometimes I get so aggressive and afterwards I dont even know why. When I play with my son I play to rough. I am not sure why I get so agressive so quickly. After these agression spells I tend to apologise and hug him and nurture him why ? I have never seriously hurt him but its a type of bullying I dont understand why? Eveyone tells me wat a good father I am and I would love to take the credit for it but I know the feeling when this bully agression thing hits and I dont think it is normal.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Do you have concerns ( which previous generations more commonly had ) about whether a dad ought to be rough and toughen the lad up versus being nurturing and pleasant ?

Not that long back the latter was the norm - it didn't do growing boys any good, and often left them confused, and experiencing difficulties in demonstrating the gentleness that is so much a part of manliness, which doesn't solely consist of being rough and tough.

How did your own father relate to you ? Often, in ways we don't altogether realize, the model of how to be fatherly is one we absorb from what we see and experience.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2010/07/02

Shame on you for beating a dog - no matter how young you were. Sies.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: corne | 2010/07/01

My father wasn''t around much when I was young as he flew from country to country as he was apart of the special forces during that time. The problem I am having is that I remember that I also had this frustration when I was young and I actually beat our dog and hurt him because of this.Four years ago I was in an abuse relationship in though not physical, I was emotionally abused to such a state that I became a physical abuser. I grew more and more aggressive up to the point where I had to get out . Evey one in my family says that this relationship changed me and at first I didn''t want to accept it but now as time goes by I realize that I have a low self esteem due to this abuse. This happened three years ago, could this still have a influence in me? How do I get my self esteem,worth back ? I miss being my old bubbly self.

Reply to corne
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/01

Do you have concerns ( which previous generations more commonly had ) about whether a dad ought to be rough and toughen the lad up versus being nurturing and pleasant ?

Not that long back the latter was the norm - it didn't do growing boys any good, and often left them confused, and experiencing difficulties in demonstrating the gentleness that is so much a part of manliness, which doesn't solely consist of being rough and tough.

How did your own father relate to you ? Often, in ways we don't altogether realize, the model of how to be fatherly is one we absorb from what we see and experience.

Reply to cybershrink

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