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Question
Posted by: Nobody Important | 2008/09/20

Am i going insane here doc?

Hey Shrink,I am worried that i am beyond all help psychologically and phsically.Every minute of every day i am in my own world.I fantasize about sleeping with old women,children,rape,torture and afterwords i feel disgusted with myself and feel like killing myself.I haven' t followed through yet but the horrible thoughts have started coming into my dreams.I suffer from depression but my medication seems to make me feel crazy.I also fantasize of killing myself and ending this life but i haven' t followed through with it yet.I was sexually abused as a child and although i' m not gay i dream of being raped.I don' t know what i should do cause i don' t want to be this person.I can' t think,dream normal dreams and think strange things.Am i crazy or is it the rest of the world who is crazy?Should i go ahead and kill myself or should i exist for a lifetime?I don' t even know why i ask these questions right now as i don' t expect a cure or way out of it but i do want to change

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I doubt it, though I can understand that it might feel that way for you. Certainly such fantasies are ugly and menacing, and any even faint idea of carrying them out would of course be repulsive. Some medications, occasionally, in some vulnerable people, can stir up unpleasant dreams, etc. SO DO se your prescribing shrink, or another shrink, fairly promptly, for a thorough fresh assessment and a discussion of revising treatments so as to enable you to improve and feel more at peace.
Of course you should not kill yourself, and there's no need to assume that you would otherwise live LIKE THIS long-term. But DO get appropriate expert help to sort this out. Its typical of Depression, that it early on removes our ability to imagine cure or solutions --- those asumptions are not accurate, but can be very convincing !

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