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Question
Posted by: Babygirl 10 | 2010/01/21

Am i Clingy or Needy?

I am involved with this wonderful guy for 7 months now. we both lead very busy lives but i have time between working full time and studying to pick up the phone and call him, arrange weekend getaways for our birthdays, arrange to see a movie, a play etc and sometimes he asks me to do research stuff for his business. we only see each other once a month and that is not enough according to me. On christmas he promised to come see me but he didn' t, New years same the only sms i got was that please find info on this particular subject for his business and this morning he sends me a message for one of his projects to look at after an hour he sends another message saying " what i sent you is very important please attend to it"  and i sent back an sms giving him pointers to his project and i said " just a kind reminder i' m also at work"  and i wanted to say more but i couldnt. my question to you is am i clingy, needy or i am an attention seeker or there is a real problem in this relationship?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Is there a significant difference between clingy and needy ? Choosing "Babygirl" as your nick says something about how you see yourself, doesn't it ?
But it's not needy or clingy to expect a viable and functional relationshiop to onsist of meeting more than once a month. But if it's HIM you're asking about, he sounds more selfish and demanding than needy. He wants a free assistant, not a girl-friend
I think there is a real problem here, and it's no that you are expecting too much, but maybe you're accepting too little

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Girl | 2010/01/22

The man is using you and he' s got a girlfriend. You can' t tell me that he' s busy with his " work"  stuff when he' s not with you. Open your eyes girl, something is smelling here !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply to Girl
Posted by: To ThePoint | 2010/01/21

Babygirl What do you call this? he is using you, and you' ll be suprise the period you dont see each other he' s with somebody else. Refuse any request and stop doing all the things he' s asking you, that' s where you will see his motives. If I were you I would run fast just to be away from him.

Reply to To ThePoint
Posted by: Woman | 2010/01/21

This man is using you.Plain and simple as that. He doesn' t show any caring and only contacts you when he wants to. Very selfish too. You can spend your time in a much better way. You can and will find someone who appreciates you for being the kind &  caring person you obviously are.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Whena | 2010/01/21

Are you his girlfriend or his research assistant?

Reply to Whena
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/01/21

Is there a significant difference between clingy and needy ? Choosing "Babygirl" as your nick says something about how you see yourself, doesn't it ?
But it's not needy or clingy to expect a viable and functional relationshiop to onsist of meeting more than once a month. But if it's HIM you're asking about, he sounds more selfish and demanding than needy. He wants a free assistant, not a girl-friend
I think there is a real problem here, and it's no that you are expecting too much, but maybe you're accepting too little

Reply to cybershrink

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