Our expert says:
Such wildly irresponsible behaviour on her side suggests either a sociopathic personality ( and then this would have been typical of her long-term behaviour ), or, if this is a recent change from previously responsible behaviour, it suggests a potential psych illness, such as the manic phase of Bipolar Disorder. She needs more than a counselor.
Can he not persuade her to see a psychiatrist for a proper assessment and advice based on what is found ? Does she recognize ANYTHING wrong in what she has been doing ?
And what has she been wasting the money on ? Usually it turns out to be drugs, alcohol, gambling, or some combination of these. If so, it is possible to have her banned from casinos, and to persuade bars and bottle stores to limit or stop sales to her.
And why has he allowed and enabled her to waste his money and what should be available for the children ? He should immediately cancel any legal access she has to his accounts, credit cards, etc., and if she has taken any bank or other loans with his consent, to withdraw that consent immedately, and make it clear that she alone must be responsible for every expense she has chosen to make.
Though it may seem charitable to help, giving money to the couple is most likely to simply extend the problem, rather than to really help to end it. If the friend is so idiotic when in such a massive financial mess, not only to have failed to get expert financial counselling, but to frankly waste scarce money on books of any kind, then he does not deserve anyone else's money. Those books cost could have provided him with petrol, and who knows what he may do with money given to him for petrol ?
It is NOT anyone's Christian duty to enable others to continue to neglect their children and waste other people's money.
And apparently you are also spending to help family members who made a very foolish investment. People often need to suffer through the predictable consequences of their lousy decisions in order to learn to change their risky behaviors. ASo long as others will naively cushin them from such impacts, they can continue to act foolishly.
If your husband is also a foolish spender, and doesn't appreciateb what food, eg, costs - have him sit with you and draw up a shopping list within your budget, and then to join you in shopping and see what such items actually cost.
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