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Question
Posted by: almost mad | 2009-10-19

Am I being petty? or am i right?

After a terrible and traumatic situation where my fiances mother insulted and verbally abused me and practically kicked me out ther house I had nightmares etc and was really distraught over it all. I am an educated person, good morals, with a decent job etc, and didnt deserve to be treated in such a low class way. Anyway i vowed to never step foot into their house again and I never want to see that women again either. I choose simply not to associate myself with rubbish like my fiances mother. Anyway, my fiance and i fight often about me not comming to the house, as he says his father says i must come visit and stay over all the time. he says i should just come because it is his fathers house and that i must show her i am better than her. While i feel that I am better and that is why I dont need to come to her house and see her ugly hateful face. In a way i am glad about what happened because I dont have to have her in my life ever again. Am I being petty, or am I being strong. ASnd how to I get my fiance to understand my way of being a better person.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi there a.m.,
I don't think you are being petty, though you may be depriving yourself, your fiancee and his father from good times you might enjoy together at the father's home, and in a way may be giving a sense of victory to the nasty woman. Discuss this more with them. Maybe the fiancee and his father need to talk strongly to the mother about how her behaviour was wau out of line and not tolerable, must not be repeated, and that she should apologise to you ?

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2009-10-22

I used to cook and buy groceries all the time. I guess she didnt know who was paying for her food because I never told them.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: Mother | 2009-10-20

Sorry to do this to you, but can I ask you a few questions?
Did you live there and did you contribute to the household, for instance wash dishes and cook? I can relate to the mother' s situation, because my son' s gilrfriend also lived with us. She thought it was a hotel and did nothing to help. She did not pay a cent rent or croseries. She did not even clena their room or do any washing! I called her lazy and she left!

Reply to Mother
Posted by: Jim | 2009-10-20

There are way too many good people in the world to waste any time on Jerry Springer type trash..

Reply to Jim
Posted by: Ja | 2009-10-19

If it were me i would not see my mother either. Nor would i see my father for allowing my mother to behave like that.

I am on your side in this one. If your fiance and his father want good times, they should get the mother in line first.

Reply to Ja
Posted by: almost mad | 2009-10-19

I didnt really do anything. his mother is a nasty piece of work. I admit that I can be a bit messy, but only in my fiances bedroom. She just started insulting me, screaming and went crazy. Kind of like the trash you see on jerry Springer. She was calling me lazy and all sorts of things. I come from a good harworking home where my parents were loving and tought me to work hard for whatever i have. The truth is that she is dirty and disgusting. I have never been spoken to like that by anyone. I was actually traumatised by the situation. I am a soft person and while she insulted and screamed and called me names i just sat in my fiances room crying and dint say a thing. My fiance tried to defend me but she kept on going. she wouldnt stop. the reason it hurt so much was that we cant get our own place becaue my fiance is in debt from bailing them out of debt everytime. Its a situation that really sucks. I really dont want an apoligy from his mother, i am happier without her in my life.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: Lady man | 2009-10-19

I agree with CS. I also agree with his father, go and visit and show you are the better person. But what did you do to contribute to the situation with his mother. Tell us more about the situation then we can give our opinions.

Reply to Lady man
Posted by: cybershrink | 2009-10-19

Hi there a.m.,
I don't think you are being petty, though you may be depriving yourself, your fiancee and his father from good times you might enjoy together at the father's home, and in a way may be giving a sense of victory to the nasty woman. Discuss this more with them. Maybe the fiancee and his father need to talk strongly to the mother about how her behaviour was wau out of line and not tolerable, must not be repeated, and that she should apologise to you ?

Reply to cybershrink

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