advertisement
Question
Posted by: Flower Girl | 2010/10/29

Am I being pathetic?

Hi all…  please could you give me your opinion?
History: my fiancé  was away for a bachelor’ s weekend in the beginning of Sep, then for camping at the end of Sep. He went to another bachelor two weeks ago for a weekend (he is one the best men). This weekend he is going for a braai at the future bride &  groom’ s house as they want to discuss the plans for the wedding…  which is totally understandable, EXCEPT that they are getting married next weekend in Durban…  which means another few days away –  fiancé  is flying down on Wednesday, whereas I am only flying down, by myself, on Friday. Surely, they can discuss the plans on Wed, Thu and Fri?
Sat it is the groom’ s 2nd bachelor’ s party (he had a weekend away two weeks ago), but was not satisfied as not everyone could attend. So, this is another weekend where I only see my fiancé  on Sunday, and then he leaves again Wed morning.

Oh, and he is also leaving me alone again in December for 10 days as I can’ t get leave and he is joining his family by the sea.

I don’ t see myself as a clingy person, but I think this is too much. Am I being pathetic?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Weddings seem to be becoming needlessly elaborate and expensive, these days. And i sounds as though these friends are elaborating the bridegrrom / best man component to rival the usual emphasis on the bride's retinue. A week before hand, how much more "planning" do they need to do ?
You're not being pathetic, but he seems rather careless of your feelings,as his fiancee, if this really is a relationship. Seems a bit over-fond of still bonding with the Boys. But if you were invited to one or more of these occasions, and chose not to go, this is nothing to feel offended by. But overall, he hardly sounds convincingly committed to you and this relationship

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

14
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/30

Weddings seem to be becoming needlessly elaborate and expensive, these days. And i sounds as though these friends are elaborating the bridegrrom / best man component to rival the usual emphasis on the bride's retinue. A week before hand, how much more "planning" do they need to do ?
You're not being pathetic, but he seems rather careless of your feelings,as his fiancee, if this really is a relationship. Seems a bit over-fond of still bonding with the Boys. But if you were invited to one or more of these occasions, and chose not to go, this is nothing to feel offended by. But overall, he hardly sounds convincingly committed to you and this relationship

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: just a thought | 2010/10/29

good advice from pimp- hard and direct but good.
food for thought indeed!

Reply to just a thought
Posted by: Pimp | 2010/10/29

bitch listen up and listen well, your man is a little bit not that interested in spending time with you, and he sounds like a real selfish person. he doesnt make time for you at all and it seems its his life first and then only you. leave him work the streets and enjoy yourtself.

Pimp

Reply to Pimp
Posted by: just a thought | 2010/10/29

exactly - if you were being offered true commitment you would not be feeling as you do.

Reply to just a thought
Posted by: Flower girl | 2010/10/29

Yip, something to think hard and serious about this weekend. Thank you for the eye opener.

Reply to Flower girl
Posted by: just a thought | 2010/10/29

if he is offering every 2nd weekend without him and the other weekends with his friends does it sound like he is committed to you?
i agree with you - to allow this does make you pathetic, which is the opinion i gave.
the question now is should you stay in this relationship?

Reply to just a thought
Posted by: Flower Girl | 2010/10/29

Just a thought... thanx for your honesty.

I just wanna ask you something, seeing that you seem to know me so well... what do you suggest? Should I spend every 2nd weekend without him and the weekends when he is not away... spend it with him AND his friends?

To allow this will make me pathetic....





Reply to Flower Girl
Posted by: just a though | 2010/10/29

thanks for the reply.- having red it .............
to answer your original question my own opinion is yes you are being pathetic.
this relationship is a non starter you come across as very needy and clingy- you do not get on with his close friends and he is not exactly going out of his way 2 spend time with you is he?

Reply to just a though
Posted by: Flower Girl | 2010/10/29

I was invited, but we don''t really get along... and we see them every weekend, so to be honest with you... I don''t feel like going.

Reply to Flower Girl
Posted by: just a thought | 2010/10/29

why can you not accompany your fiance this weekend for a braai to discuss arrangements, surely the invitation was extended to you to?
it seems strange that you would be excluded if you are his betrothed.

Reply to just a thought
Posted by: Linus | 2010/10/29

maybe you''re a bit jealous as he is off having fun and you can''t join in perhaps?

Reply to Linus
Posted by: Lego | 2010/10/29

If this happens all the time, it might be a problem. But if this is only a temporary thing, I feel you should just ride it out.

Reply to Lego
Posted by: Flower Girl | 2010/10/29

I do have my own life. I go out and do my own thing when he is away. My question is: is it healthy, though? Everything in moderation I say.... this doens''t feel " moderate"  to me.

Reply to Flower Girl
Posted by: darkside | 2010/10/29

Dont you have any plans or your life revolves around his life? i say you need a life otherwise you will appear clingy and that is what turn us men off a woman with no life.

Reply to darkside

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement