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Question
Posted by: Kate | 2012/03/12

Am I being insecure if I say I don’ t like this girl hanging around with my man?

I have been dating this man for 14 months now and we do not have problems so far everything is ok and I am still happy. Before we met he was dating this girl at his workplace and he made friends with some of his girlfriend’ s friends. After breaking up the friendship between some of the girls continued especially with this particular one who stays closer to us. By the way me and my boyfriend just moved in together this January. So this girl who was a friend to his ex girlfriend is now closer to my boyfriend which it does not bother me they work together anyway. But this girl have the tendency of visiting him anytime of the day at our place. She comes with different types of man and some married and some single and I don’ t like it. Saturday she called my boyfriend and that time she was at the gate around 7 o’  clock in the evening again came with another married having johhnie walker and some drinks they claim to come and watch soccer with us. After the game they left.
Am I being insecure if I say I don’ t like this girl hanging around with my man? How should I address this type without being looked as a jealous girlfriend? Do I have anything to worry about?
If she is able to go out with married man what will stop her from going out with my boyfriend? Is she a threat to our relationship? I spoke to my boyfreind about her before and he was very calm telling me he knows a lot about this girl and i do not have anything to worry about they just friends and they work together.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

She doesn't sound like the sort of girl most women would like near their boy-friend, apparently having multiple boyfriends of her own, including maried men.
And its simply good manners for someone not to just drop in, uninvited, at anyone else's home, especially bringing strangers with her.
And if they meet in the course of work at the office, she hardly needs to see him out of hours, for any respectable reason.
Its very reasonable for you to discuss this with your boyfried, and to express your opinion that you don't like her visiting, and see how he feels. Just because she has no manners at all, doesnt mean either you or your boyfriend need to invite her in every time she arrives.

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2012/03/12

Personally I will ask him to choose. Me or this female.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Kate | 2012/03/12

Guess what my boyfriend just called me now apparently the girl is going to watch soccer with his boyfriend not sure which one and she has 2 more tickets and she invited my boyfriend and i to go with them and I said NO SHE IS NOT MY FRIEND and he told the girl to give tickets to someone

Reply to Kate
Posted by: Think about it | 2012/03/12

I''m more concerned with why you would allow her in your home at all? And with married company to add to it!
You and your boyfriend must have some moral standing on the matter? If you would not want to be in the position of being cheated on why would allow such a thing to take place in your home?

Reply to Think about it
Posted by: Nina | 2012/03/12

She sounds like trouble. Speak to him again and tell him that you feel uncomfortable with her coming around with different men all the time, especially married ones. It goes against your principles and it makes you uneasy knowing that you are allowing her to come over with them.

Tell him you don''t think you want to support this behaviour any longer and her coming around like this, is just encouraging it.

Reply to Nina
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/12

She doesn't sound like the sort of girl most women would like near their boy-friend, apparently having multiple boyfriends of her own, including maried men.
And its simply good manners for someone not to just drop in, uninvited, at anyone else's home, especially bringing strangers with her.
And if they meet in the course of work at the office, she hardly needs to see him out of hours, for any respectable reason.
Its very reasonable for you to discuss this with your boyfried, and to express your opinion that you don't like her visiting, and see how he feels. Just because she has no manners at all, doesnt mean either you or your boyfriend need to invite her in every time she arrives.

Reply to cybershrink

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