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Question
Posted by: Hawk | 2012/09/27

am i being inconsiderate??

hi, im in my 30s and g/f in late 20s. we have been dating for a year and she is throwing a huge tantrum cos i wanted to play golf with a friend that is married to my exes sister. my gf feels threatened by my ex but iv never given her reason to feel that way, and its been over two years ago that me and the ex split. iv told my gf to come with but instread she lashes out on me and acuses me. my gf is very jealous and its not the first time she gets angry over my past.....am i being inconsiderate or is she?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why don't really inconsiderate people ever ask me this question ? Your gf sounds immature and over-sensitive, probably with really low self-esteem, and a skill for creating the very situations she fears. Does she really think your friend routinely stuffs his sister-in-law into his golf-bag ?
Think about this relationship. Such pathological jealousy tends to get worse, not better, unless she gets sincerely involved in proper therapy / counselling. Of course it is she who is being hypersensitive, inconsiderate and unreasonable.

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Our users say:
Posted by: hawk | 2012/10/01

Thank you for the reply. Its much appreciated.

Reply to hawk
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/29

Why don't really inconsiderate people ever ask me this question ? Your gf sounds immature and over-sensitive, probably with really low self-esteem, and a skill for creating the very situations she fears. Does she really think your friend routinely stuffs his sister-in-law into his golf-bag ?
Think about this relationship. Such pathological jealousy tends to get worse, not better, unless she gets sincerely involved in proper therapy / counselling. Of course it is she who is being hypersensitive, inconsiderate and unreasonable.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Anon | 2012/09/28

Her jealousy and stupid accusation is going to get you to start losing respect for her. Soon you going to explode. For 8 years my BF kept accusing me. Kept comparing me to his ex. Etc. Today. It''s like I snap at everything. And when he confronted me I told him, he turned me into this " bitchy witch" . It''s not nice. People need to get over themselves. I even told him, the fact that you keep accusing me of things etc, only tells how little you think of me. And that alone makes one feel like they are filthy. As if they have no self respect. :''(. It''s best to let her know now, before you end up where I am. Where you keep your whole life on hold, waiting for them to come around. And eventually when they do come around, you then realize how much you missed out on. Cause while you could''ve have been living and enjoying the only life you have on earth, you both were rather arguing about stupid and pathetic things.

Reply to Anon

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