Posted by: Joan | 2008-10-29

Am i been unfair

When i met my bf he was seperated from his wife, she' s still living with his mom but he had moved out &  living on his own. We together 2 years now and still he hasent started divorse procedings, he keeps saying he wants to divorse her and start life with me but he has no money at the moment for the divorse. He has 4 children with his wife &  1 out of marriage. Since we' ve been together i' v been washing his clothes, ironing, cooking &  buying him some clothes. He gets paid every 2 weeks but always got no money, wen i ask for some money he gives me R100 or wont give as long as i dont ask, i live with my mom and 2 kids, his kids come too me weekends to visit, he wont even give me R50 knowing his children are with me and i need money for bread ect, iv brokon up with him twice already over this and he would beg and say things are going to change, this is now the third time im breaking up with him and feel iv had enough, he feels im been unfair and says things are going to change, how can i trust that they will when we' ve been down this path before and it didnt work, he wants to get married but im scared, he' s shown me now that he cant look after me, how is he going to take care of me and 5 children on the side if he already failing now, he feels like im leaving him because he got no money but he is irresponsable and need him to be responsible, i' m tired, iv spent too much money on this man and his kids and got nothing back but a swearing wife every weekend when she drunk, am i been unfair by leaving him?

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Our expert says:
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It sounds ominously as hough he is using you. It costs little to divorce someone, especially if both parties are agreed. And whyn need you do his washing, etc. And where does all his money go, that he can't afford to help with the expenses at your home, where he lives ? If he's serious, he should go ahead with the divorce, promptly, and then live with you while demonstrating that he can and will take proper care of you and your kids. You're not unreasonable or unfair at all -- he has been and continues to be irresponsible and careless, and expects you to care for him. Why not leave him ? Why should you support him and his kids ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: apples | 2008-10-30

I may no know you but I' m sure you deserve better. Dump him, enjoy seeing how much spare money you have to spoil yourself

Reply to apples
Posted by: f****NO | 2008-10-29

GIRL, run as fast as you can. this guy is having an easy ride on you.i mean your washing for him and doing all those things for him and ur getting nothing out of it and your taking care of his kids, no no no.he is just rtying to manipulate you and making you feel bad for dumping him. you know aht the right thing is to do for yourself. if u take him back, u know that ur the one doing al this to yourself. you are definately worth much more thn that.

Reply to f****NO
Posted by: Hell no | 2008-10-29

Ur not being unfair.It does not need money to divorce a person.Maybe he still loves her.And why are u taking the kids to visit while ur not married?This man is just bad news with too many for ur life.

Reply to Hell no

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