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Question
Posted by: Sue | 2012-09-04

Am I becoming depressed

Hi Doc,

feel like I am the loneliest person. I''ve never really been a person who has many friends or felt comfortable around a crowd, so it''s not like my life was always full of people and surely I should be used to it and being alone. Well I am not and I just don''t know what to do anymore...

I am not much of a talker so people easily get bored around me. My boyfriend of 5 years is also not much of a talker but it has come to a point where we can spend hours without saying anything to each other. I will try by all means to a point were I even get tired physically from talking, just to make conversation with him and all he ever says is respond with an answer. He will only discuss serious things that need to be dealt with at that time. We are almost like business partners.

He is very much sensitive about a lot of things so when I ask him why he has nothing to say to me he will tell me to love him as he is or just leave him if I am not happy... At present he has stopped calling me because we do not have anything to talk about.

My friends are all very busy these days. My best friend has found a new best friend. Every time I want to spend time with her she tells me she can''t because she is tired then later tells me she went out with some people. I don''t confront her about it as to me it''s obvious she did not want to be with me.
My work colleagues are very social, so they usually have drinks on Thursday but they never invite me. about 3 months ago I asked them if I can join and they told me they were going to some guy''s place and had not told him that they are bring extra people but next time they will tell me when they go, to date they have not... They are very friendly people but they also like making comments about how quiet I am and they wonder how I will be like outside of work... I don''t know if they are mocking me or something.
I don''t have a car now to even just go out by myself and come back at whatever time I want.

My mother loves going to visit her friends. Every time I go visit her she is off to somewhere, even when I tell her I will be coming around. My brother well, he will never hang out with me... ever.

I found out I am suffering from abdominal disease and somehow I feel like if I tell anyone it will be like I want their attention, which even though I do want, I wouldn''t want it to be like this...

I hate, hate, hate being alone and by myself all the time... What do I do...

I feel like a child, like I am needy and should just grow up and be independent... and stop thinking about people, but this feeling does not go away... please help!!

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There seem to be many people around who assume that they are perfect, and you must either take them as they are or leave - they have unrealistic ideas about how marvellous they are, and no ambition.
At the very least, he doesn't sound like a suitable companion for you, as you seem to want a lot of conversation, and he doesn't. Maybe counselling would help you become more comfortable with yourself, and less needy - it may be your neediness which is driving people away who might otherwise be pleased to be friends of yours - neediness can be really scary to others. And its odd, but its like banks are so keen to lend you money, so long as you are rich and don't need any.
But just scolding yourself isn't helpful. See a CBT style psychological counsellor, who can help you work on improving your self-esteem and self-confidence, and you will be able to relax and enable people to see how nice it will be to get to know you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-09-05

There seem to be many people around who assume that they are perfect, and you must either take them as they are or leave - they have unrealistic ideas about how marvellous they are, and no ambition.
At the very least, he doesn't sound like a suitable companion for you, as you seem to want a lot of conversation, and he doesn't. Maybe counselling would help you become more comfortable with yourself, and less needy - it may be your neediness which is driving people away who might otherwise be pleased to be friends of yours - neediness can be really scary to others. And its odd, but its like banks are so keen to lend you money, so long as you are rich and don't need any.
But just scolding yourself isn't helpful. See a CBT style psychological counsellor, who can help you work on improving your self-esteem and self-confidence, and you will be able to relax and enable people to see how nice it will be to get to know you.

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