Our expert says:
I agre very much with your underlying point that actual forgiveness should require regret and genuine apology, not in the sense of "let's just forget this all " but feeling real sorrow for what had been done. He seems to have been more devoted to fathering children ( good for his ego ) than in husbanding any of the women or caring about their feelings. And he does, indeed, seem to be wanting to have everything. I don't think you are being unreasonable --- he is expecting you to ifnore your own needs and feelings, and accomodate what he wants. The kids are innocent --- but in asking you to accept them, he is asking you to accept that he cheated and that his loyalties lie elsewhere.
Yes, one can go back to setting oneself free from the effects of having been cheated, but that may need counselling to help you to complete the work. THis does not involve trusting the untrustworthy.
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