Posted by: scorpio | 2009-09-07

always the bridesmaid.... never the bride!!

Im tired.... tired of always being second best... the girl the guy turns to after a long term relationship.... the girl the guy takes to a wedding coz he just broke up with someone... the girl the guy flirts with at gym, while his fiance sits waiting for him at home.... the girl the guy sms' s when he is lonely &  knows I will reply.... I want to be number 1 in someone' s life, but no one is willing to give me this chance. What am I doing wrong??

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Our expert says:
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Clearly, though it may not be the way you're seeing it right now, you are widely recognized as being a very nice person, but they're apparently not, right now at least, taking you seriously romantically. I'll leave it to other readers, with more romantic experience than I (!) to speculate on why this may be.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Bachelor | 2009-09-08

Let me give you some advice from experience. I tried too hard, and waited a very long time. I tried to please all the time. I tried so hard to be nice, that I missed out on so many. The thing is, just be you. There is someone for every one. Even if you are overweight, even if you are dog ugly by the standards set by some, even if you are not that clever, not that witty, not that rich in experience. The list goes on. We sometimes are our own worst enemies and blame all and sundry for our failures. We sometimes idolize the perfect partner so much that we missed out on some perfectly good partner. Mr. And Mrs. Perfect does not exist and never did. Just be yourself, and enjoy life. There are lots of advice like go to clubs and join this and do that, but in the end, it is who you are that matters most.

Reply to Bachelor
Posted by: Woman | 2009-09-08

I can suggest that you read the book: " If I' m so wonderful why am I still single?"  by Susan Page. You ought to be able to get it at exclusive Books. ISBN number 0749924608

I got the book as a present from a good friend. At that stage I was stuck in a terrible relationship. Now, 3 years later, I am married to the man of my dreams and I am looking forward to a long, happy life. :)

Good luck. You deserve a happy, committed relationship. Everyone does!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Rick | 2009-09-08

Hi Scorpio,

Just a question from purely a male do you look physically? Are you attractive and do you have a nice body. Because as a male thats what I look for FIRST before I look at personality. If personality does not fit with the body and looks then, well Im not interested. BUT I dont look at personality first. If a very unattractive person had a great personality and made me laugh, then I would be friends, no problem, but a relationship, no. My preference is nice looks and nice body, someone who dresses well and takes care of themselves, because I do and make the effort, so expect the same from my partner.

Just my opinion

Reply to Rick
Posted by: D | 2009-09-08

Hey, I have the same problem, except that I am a male. Every girl that I ask out on dates, and if she says yes, then by the time the third date comes up, it' s always, " I just wanna be friends" ! AARRGGHH!! Well, I have been single my whole life because of this, next year I am 30, and I decided that well, I have survived all these years alone, I can probably do it till I die. Hey, I am not trying to put you off, and I hope you find someone, like I hope I do find someone as well, but I think I have had enough

Reply to D
Posted by: Kelly | 2009-09-07

Wow thats sad, You still very young though still lots of time for him to find you.

Reply to Kelly
Posted by: Me too | 2009-09-07

Me too. I am starting to believe that I will never be " special"  to anyone. They are all taken. I was divorced 7 years ago, I am now 30. Let' s face it - it' s never gonna happen. I will die alone and be eaten by the neighbour' s cat...LOL.

Reply to Me too

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