Posted by: Lebo | 2009-06-17

Always frightened by my boss


I dont think this is a pschiatric question, but I need to ask someone or discuss this with someone. Last year I got a job in one of the big firms in the country and I discover that I will be working for a divisional head as a pa, and he is male. He took me permanetly after my probation period. My problem is I' ve been always been afraid of him, everything I do I double check or triple check only to find out mistake after the task had been performed. I am always been a good organiser and very careful but with this boss it seems like I am doing more mistakes than a perfect job, only this monring I recorded three mistakes,one of them is to send a wrong cell number. What' s wrong with me?

He didnt give m a raise, citing all the mistakes I did and I accepted my fate in that regard and he said he will be monitoring me in a weeekly basis,now I scared more than ever, it feels like he' s watching every move I make. I sometimes cant go to the loo, cos I think he watching me. I have contacted his previuos pa, who gave me pointers about him and his behaviuor, but i cant to do the right things. I feel like qiuting cos I no longer enjoy coming to work. What is the blerry wrong with me, I know I am not stupid. I am sorry about the bible I wrote, just wanted to say what I feel right now.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Are you afraid o him, personally ? Or afraid of making a mess of your new and important job ? Is he more critical and unpleasant about whatver errors he discovers, than the usual bos ? As A says, discuss this with HR, and maybe some extra training could help you to become more confident. Maybe you'd be happier ( discuss this with HR ) in a slightly more junior position or simply with a different boss ? It may be that seeing a shrink for asessment would help, as if you have a degree of anxiety disorder, some medication ( of the sort also used for depression ) or some types o counselling such as CBT, could help greatly to help you mlearn to relax and feel more confident. The more anxious you get, the more mistakes you will make, and the more anxious you will get. But that nasty circle can be broken.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Ja | 2009-06-17

BTW, your boss really seems understanding by the comments i see!

Reply to Ja
Posted by: Ja | 2009-06-17

If someone made mistakes that reflect badly on me i would also not trust their work.
Stop making mistakes. Give yourself a little more time and make sure about the work as you go. Going back often takes way too long which causes problems on its own.
If your work is spot-on, not only will your boss trust you, he will spend less of his valuable time on double checking you to make a raise possible.
Surely this makes sense?

Reply to Ja
Posted by: lebo | 2009-06-17

Thanks guys for your comforting words.

And yes he said they will get help for me, does it mean I will have to attend course?

Ano-every day I tell myself that same ol'  phrase,start afresh, but once he is in the office,I start panicking without him uttering a word.

I will try and make a new start tommorw before its too late.Thanks

Reply to lebo
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-06-17

Remember that your biggers fear will fall upon you!.

If you afraid of you boss, and afraid of making mistke you will in turn make more mistakes.

Start a fresh tomorrow

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-06-17

Dear Lebo, I know this feeling - I' ve PA' d for quite a few top-end bosses and some of them affect you that way.

Does your company offer any in-house training courses? Even if you are well-qualified, it sometimes helps to take a few extra courses just to boost your self-confidence - also, each company has it' s own way of doing things.

Reply to Anonymous

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