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Question
Posted by: Lost | 2011/02/09

Always being critisized and rollercoaster emotions

Ever since a young age, my brother and parents have always been critisizing me. My brother always goes on about my weight and how I''ve only had one boyfriend (I''m 19). My parents also love telling me how fat I am (I''m 155cm tall and weigh 62kgs so I am on the chubbier side) and they also love telling me how I never dress properly. The thing is that they won''t let me get a job because they want me to focus on my studies so I don''t have any money of my own. When we do go shopping for clothes they always have to approve it before it''s actually bought so why don''t they something then?

In the past I used to just let it slide but lately I can''t help but take it to heart, I don''t know why it suddenly became like this. I''m not close to them my parents at all, the only time we ever speak is if there''s something " factual"  to share. I''ve tried connecting in the past but it hasn''t helped so I''ve stopped trying.

Then there''s the fact that I feel like I''m on an emotional rollercoaster. I don''t try to put on a face but when I''m around people I feel happy and I''ll laugh and joke along with them. When I''m alone I start feeling sad and that I''m not worth much. I have very low self esteem/confidence because I was never given the chance to build it when I was younger.

I most properly should go see someone who can help me but I don''t have the courage to do it. Just thinking about talking to someone face to face terrifies me. Any suggestions on how I can try get over this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Speaking a a fat person, isn't it amazing how much awful pleasure people get ou of telling you something so obvious ? It's like saying :
"You've got brown hair !"
If the paents control what you can buy as regards clothes, aren't they criticizing themselves if they don't like the way you dress ?
Sounds like a toxic family, and mabe they also have low self-esteem, and sickeningly try to make themselves feel bigger by dragging down someone else. There doesnt sound like much point in trying too hard to "contact" them.
Isn't there some student counsellign facility wherever it is you're studying ? Some counselling could help a lot. A counsellor, you will find, can be pleasant and easy to talk with and that in itself will be useful for you. And get involved in more broad student activities, clubs, societies, so you can discover your own interests and abilities.
As Phil says, you can lose weight much more easily than those nasty people can become pleasant. Carry on becoming a swan, and leave them behind in the barnyard

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Phil | 2011/02/10

You no what, weight is something you can change, but being " ugly"  and the type of person to hurt others. Well that is something that isn''t very nice.

So I suggest  do some excersis. This will help clear your mind, change your weight and won''t cost a cent.
While you complete your studies  make it your goal to rise above all of them once you complete and on your own feett. One day, you will look back at them and jsut laugh. And they will look at the duckling  that turned into a Swan. And all of this  is in your hands and very possible.

Reply to Phil
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/02/10

Speaking a a fat person, isn't it amazing how much awful pleasure people get ou of telling you something so obvious ? It's like saying :
"You've got brown hair !"
If the paents control what you can buy as regards clothes, aren't they criticizing themselves if they don't like the way you dress ?
Sounds like a toxic family, and mabe they also have low self-esteem, and sickeningly try to make themselves feel bigger by dragging down someone else. There doesnt sound like much point in trying too hard to "contact" them.
Isn't there some student counsellign facility wherever it is you're studying ? Some counselling could help a lot. A counsellor, you will find, can be pleasant and easy to talk with and that in itself will be useful for you. And get involved in more broad student activities, clubs, societies, so you can discover your own interests and abilities.
As Phil says, you can lose weight much more easily than those nasty people can become pleasant. Carry on becoming a swan, and leave them behind in the barnyard

Reply to cybershrink

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