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Question
Posted by: julie | 2010/03/03

always anxious

Everytime i get happy about something, somehow, somewhere i think of something negative and i backtrack. My life has practically been on hold for a very long time because of my fearing the worst. Ive fended for myself most of my life, and never depended on family or friends. Am i being too hard on myself? Im 42 years of age, fairly attractive and as soon as i go for work interviews or meeting a new man, i would get excited and full of enthusiasm but then imagining the worst ie. i imagine perhaps the interview im going to, i will know someone there hat may know my relatives who claim im szisophrenic or something (which is absurd) or the man im going to meet knows my relatives who have claimed im mad (which i have never been diagnosed being). I have been a loner most of my life and my family dont know me. I get down about it as friends know me better as being a happy go lucky attractive woman with a great sense of humour and my family have always knocked me. Am i insecure with a low self esteem? How do i live a happy life without all this negativity around me? Do i just stay away from negative people so i can be happy and move forward with life. They say u cant choose yr family but surely yr friends... It just all boils down to family wrongly labeling me as theyve never really known me, only if i was sad bout something which most people feel sometime in their lives.. i ponder too much on what my family think of me instead of who i really am... Who am i really? Am i a lost soul?

Does this make sense Cybershrink?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Sounds like a very classic example of the sort of habits of negative thinking and self-sabotage that should do very well indeed with CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy.
Sounds like this was inadvertently nurtured by a family who "always knocked you" and undermined your self-esteem and self-confidence. Yes, avoid negative people - what possible use can they be for you ? Negative and unhelpful amateur opinions from the family need not be taken seriously - stop giving them the power to make you feel bad.
NOT a lost soul, but one who may with a little expert help, find where her soul got tucked away !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Julie - post 4766 | 2010/03/04


Cypershrink, u are the best!

U really know how to make someone feel good about themselves. Thank you so much for your advice. I will definitely try this CBT. I have got self help books w.r.t low self esteem Need to work on my self confidence. As for my family, well, i do have a cousin whos a very depressive person and always thinks she knows better, yet she suffers the most and is so quick to knock everyone else. I should take that into account and not allow her to get to me as she tells everyone alot of hogwash about me. Ive just stayed clear from her negativity, its just my mom thats naive and believes her tripe. But i should start believing in myself more and not care what other people think, besides they dont pay my rent, ive always fended for myself. my family only there when i got money anyway...

But thank you again CS, i will keep u posted w.r.t my process with CBT.... :)

Reply to Julie - post 4766
Posted by: Julie | 2010/03/04

Cypershrink, u are the best!

U really know how to make someone feel good about themselves. Thank you so much for your advice. I will definitely try this CBT. I have got self help books w.r.t low self esteem Need to work on my self confidence. As for my family, well, i do have a cousin whos a very depressive person and always thinks she knows better, yet she suffers the most and is so quick to knock everyone else. I should take that into account and not allow her to get to me as she tells everyone alot of hogwash about me. Ive just stayed clear from her negativity, its just my mom thats naive and believes her tripe. But i should start believing in myself more and not care what other people think, besides they dont pay my rent, ive always fended for myself. my family only there when i got money anyway...

But thank you again CS, i will keep u posted w.r.t my process with CBT.... :)

Reply to Julie
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/04

Sounds like a very classic example of the sort of habits of negative thinking and self-sabotage that should do very well indeed with CBT, Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy.
Sounds like this was inadvertently nurtured by a family who "always knocked you" and undermined your self-esteem and self-confidence. Yes, avoid negative people - what possible use can they be for you ? Negative and unhelpful amateur opinions from the family need not be taken seriously - stop giving them the power to make you feel bad.
NOT a lost soul, but one who may with a little expert help, find where her soul got tucked away !

Reply to cybershrink

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