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Question
Posted by: mel | 2011-05-23

Alone :-(

Hi


Ok so we broke up, I am sad though yet relieved, yet I find myself not wanting to leave him completely because of a fear to be alome,I know tjis sounds really loony, but I hate being alone, I actually get anxiety feelings when thinking about it and try to convince myself that I do really want him<  thinking back I am just wondering if all of these feelings dont have anything to do with my parents getting divorced when I was very young?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You don't need to remain alone indefinitely, but don't let fear of being alone lead you into trapping yourself with someone who won't make you happy. And spending some time alone, learning to enjoy your lone-ness, makes you less desperate and clingy in seeking relationships, and thus more appealing. A counsellor may help you to celebrate yourself, on your own, and to get through this false idea of being worthless except as an appendage to someone else.
Your personal experience of your parents' divorce may indeed be part of the problem - not because this is an inevitable consequence, but a possible effect depending on how we choose to interpret such events.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Realist | 2011-05-23

Feeling out of it when you have had company is understandable, BUT, remember, YOU are your best friend or or worst enemy depending on how you decide to approach it. You parted company for a reason, presumably you had enough of whatever caused it. Each time you feel lonely, think back on the reason why(its a good idea to write down all the bad things so you can refer back to them when you feel down and this will brighten your day) There is someone out there that will make you happy.

Reply to Realist
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-05-23

You don't need to remain alone indefinitely, but don't let fear of being alone lead you into trapping yourself with someone who won't make you happy. And spending some time alone, learning to enjoy your lone-ness, makes you less desperate and clingy in seeking relationships, and thus more appealing. A counsellor may help you to celebrate yourself, on your own, and to get through this false idea of being worthless except as an appendage to someone else.
Your personal experience of your parents' divorce may indeed be part of the problem - not because this is an inevitable consequence, but a possible effect depending on how we choose to interpret such events.

Reply to cybershrink

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