Posted by: Confused | 2009-03-23

All intimacy....No Sex

We have been in an almost 5 month relationship - still very early I know.
We are intimate all the time but for some reason he does not want to have sex....I mean we do everything else but the " deed" .
Something isn' t right and this is really starting to annoy be and bother me as I don' t know if he perhaps is not attracted to me....I don' t know what to think.
We' ve had sex once, about two weeks ago- and I think only because I put him under pressure and he didn' t want to dissapoint me, his excuse at the time was that he is scared having sex will change our relationship.
Relationship wise all is great. I sleep over he sleeps over, he treats me like a princess, we get naked and like I said do everything but have sex.....I am thinking that he ejacultates when we' ve been intimate there need not be a lot of stimulation form my side before he usually happens in about 1 minute....perhpas afraid of sex as he is scared that I would be dissapointed and leave him??? I don' t know.I would like to discuss this with him in a mature manner as I really do like him....and I do want to have sex with him. He is 30 and I am 26. How do I approach this and hoe do I get him to open up??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear confused,

You are clearly very perceptive and attuned to your partner. Premature ejaculation is the most common male sexual complaint. It is also treatable with the help of a sex therapist.

I do not beleive there is a "how to approach" one size fits all response to your question. Discussing sexual issues is uncomfortable and difficult for most people. What is important is to know that your intention in addressing your concerns about your sexual relationship with your partner is to establish a mutually satisfying sexual relationship that enriches and satisfies you both. So the best "approach" is to be open, honest and sensitive and share with your partner your concerns in an open ended way, so that he can fill in the gaps in your questions. Give him the necessary reassurance as to your commitment to him and the relationship, notwithstanding the sexual concerns.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Kems | 2009-03-23

Guys are shy about premature ejaculation, it is just a guy thing, you need to make him feel at ease and tell him it does not bother you (even if it does) you can even suggest getting him off quickly about 20 min before you start with the heavy stuff, that way he will last longer aswell, there is a few tricks to pro long this ....

Reply to Kems
Posted by: Egg | 2009-03-23

Ever thought og morale values? If he does not want to dont push him! Sex is an act of love and not just for fun. And it does effect a relationship negatively. And it also does not mean he doesnt find you attractive. Ever thought he respects you?

Reply to Egg
Posted by: Confused | 2009-03-23

We used a condom....This is insane! Why is he so scared to talk about it?

Reply to Confused
Posted by: RP | 2009-03-23

Never heard of such a thing. Hell, if he is hard in bed, theres one thing he should wanna do with it! What about using a condom for PE, if thats what he has? Condoms protect from the excess sensation and can delay ejaculation

Reply to RP
Posted by: ME | 2009-03-23

Hi Confused. I think his problem is his PE. He wants to enjoy ur body before he Ejaculate. I think after he ejaculated the passion is sort of gone cold is' nt it. I am in the same position as he is. I would rather like to play around and satisfy my girl before i go to the deed. Once i do the deed, everything is over in 5 minutes and i know she wants more. We have agreed that we shall enjoy one another before we do the deed. She accept that I suffers from PE and now she knows why i would always like to play around first.

Reply to ME

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