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Question
Posted by: Digital_Sex | 2012/06/26

All about timing

During sex/love-making I last for about 45 minutes and to my partner it is too much at times and can put me in a situation where I am blue-balled and frustrated with my partner also being frustrated at not being able to please me. What can I do to make my orgasm/ejaculation arrive more in line with my partners’ ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

I'm wondering if this has always been the case, or if this is relatively new. If new, when did it begin and what was going on for you/your partner at that time? Also, is this the case when you masturbate, or just with your parnter?

There are a number of possible reasons for this:
1) if you're on medication of some sort (eg. antidepressants) you could be experiencing a biological delay to your orgasm.
2) distraction/anxiety can interfere with the normal processing of and attention to sexual stimulation.
3) it may be that you are used to different sorts of stimulation (eg. pornography, vigorous masturbation) and the stimulation you receive with your partner is not as intense.

It is common for partners to feel frustrated at not being able to please the other, but if you are clear that it has nothing to do with him/her, then you need to try to make that clear.

The answer lies in understanding it's cause, I'm afraid. If you would like to respond to some of the questions I've asked in order to find out more, please post them in a seperate post this week (I won't return to follow the thread of posts already answered). Alternatively, if you'd like a referral to a professional in your locality, send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Claire - SASHA

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Digital_Sex | 2012/06/26

This time excludes 4play. And I do want 4play it just doesn’ t last for too long as my partner gets excited very quickly and I kind of skip this ‘ meal’  and go straight to the main course

Reply to Digital_Sex
Posted by: Sexologist | 2012/06/26

I'm wondering if this has always been the case, or if this is relatively new. If new, when did it begin and what was going on for you/your partner at that time? Also, is this the case when you masturbate, or just with your parnter?

There are a number of possible reasons for this:
1) if you're on medication of some sort (eg. antidepressants) you could be experiencing a biological delay to your orgasm.
2) distraction/anxiety can interfere with the normal processing of and attention to sexual stimulation.
3) it may be that you are used to different sorts of stimulation (eg. pornography, vigorous masturbation) and the stimulation you receive with your partner is not as intense.

It is common for partners to feel frustrated at not being able to please the other, but if you are clear that it has nothing to do with him/her, then you need to try to make that clear.

The answer lies in understanding it's cause, I'm afraid. If you would like to respond to some of the questions I've asked in order to find out more, please post them in a seperate post this week (I won't return to follow the thread of posts already answered). Alternatively, if you'd like a referral to a professional in your locality, send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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