Our expert says:
Some people, apparently he's one, are skilled at manipulating others, and at making you feel guilty for what he is actually doing. They make things miserable for people around them, drive you away, then complain that you left. There ae many people who are indeed helpless and have no choice but to rely on others to care for them, but there's no reason for him to expect you all to start doing everything for him simply because he's lazy.
I very much doubt whether ANY of the things he invites you to feel guilty about, are your fault. Stop accepting those invitations.
It sounds as though he is bored and totally unoccupied ( except for his hobby of feeling sorry for himself ). If he could rather get involved with helping people who genuinely need help, he would be less bored and have a better perspective on his situation.
These problems are not part of alcoholism ( though they might be exaggerated by it ) but part of a more basic personality disorder.
You are NOT responsible for him, and especially not responsible for his happiness. That is entirely his responsibility.
You are absolutely right to reject his outrageous expectations, and let him care for himself. And especially, you should not sacrifice your life and happiness, and the quality of your life with your child, for a greedy and selfish old man. Nothing he has done deserves any expecation that you should do that
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