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Question
Posted by: no regular | 2008/10/02

alcohol problems

I need advise asap. My husband lost his job a few months ago and is really struggling to get another one. Problem is, he' s resorted to alcohol. He realises that it' s a problem, but doesn' t really want to stop. It' s ruined our relationship as well as that with the kids and even God. It also means that he' s not spending too much time searching for a job(when he' s drunk). Our youngest is a month, so I' m also at home. Luckily we have a wonderful family who basically takes care of us now. But for how long? His parents were both alcoholics, so I think it' s comes from growing up. I' ve spoken to him about this several times and it' ll go well for a couple of days and then back to the old routine. I don' t want to leave him, because he is a wonderful person and I love him very much. But I' m at my witt' s end? What to do?

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Our expert says:
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Does he not want to stop ? Or does he not think he can stop ? Of course at the price of alcohol, it depletes funds as well as capability. And nobody hires a drunk, not even another drunk. With both parents alcoholics he will have inherited a vulnerability for this, but it was and is still not inevitable, though that might be how he sees it. If he says he realizes this is a problem, can't he be persuaded to see a rehab clinic or shrink, and also to join AA ? He need not at first admit he is an alcoholic, just that he has a problemn with alcohol, which also causes problems for those he loves, and needs to learn to control this

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lin | 2008/10/02

He has to realise he has a serious problem - especially because it " runs in the family"  - he' s at a higher risk.
Ask him to go and see a counsellor - and couples counselling will do your marriage good too.
If he doesn' t go, leave and take the children - they don' t need to be exposed to this.

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