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Question
Posted by: wiele walie | 2012/09/20

aids and my wife

I just recently posted my story. just to recap I contracted aids, you all know how, I never had a sex life during 11 years being married. Obviously my wifes is angry etc. I am trying my best to be good but she oftens still cry and obviously hates me. I am succesfull in my carreer she has a great business. I am old over 50. She doesnt want to go for help she refuses. I just know how to handle this anymore, and think I must just take my own life to get out of this k...........

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Its a difficult and complex situation. I dont remember seeing your postings of your story. But if your wife persistently refused or avoided having sex with you, she can hardly be surprised if eventually you tried having sex with someone else. Its not a question of who is to be blamed, but of how the situation arose.
Very few men would have accepted a sexless marriage nor stayed within it for 11 years. Obviously it would have been far better for both of you to have become involved in marriage counselling and other professional help to sort out the sexlessness of the marriage, long ago.
Do not take your own life, as there are surely responsibilities you still need to fulful, and aspects of life you will still be able to enjoy.
DO see a counsellor or psychologist ASAP to discuss these issues in depth and find the best way to deal with them. Maybe in part, your facing your problems and going for proper help will emphasize to her that this is the responsible way to deal with such issues.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2012/09/21

Wiele wallie, i don''t quite remember your story either but nevertheless all i want to say is as someone who is also been living with the HI Virus, life is precious. please don''t take your life. things might look like a total mess now but tomorrow is a new day which will bring with its own story, as CS says seek counselling, i have never been married so i am not going to attempt advicing you on marriage but your health and happiness comes first, its understable that your wife is angry, but we all make mistake but being angry for 11 years is crazy. keep strong.

Reply to Me
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/20

Its a difficult and complex situation. I dont remember seeing your postings of your story. But if your wife persistently refused or avoided having sex with you, she can hardly be surprised if eventually you tried having sex with someone else. Its not a question of who is to be blamed, but of how the situation arose.
Very few men would have accepted a sexless marriage nor stayed within it for 11 years. Obviously it would have been far better for both of you to have become involved in marriage counselling and other professional help to sort out the sexlessness of the marriage, long ago.
Do not take your own life, as there are surely responsibilities you still need to fulful, and aspects of life you will still be able to enjoy.
DO see a counsellor or psychologist ASAP to discuss these issues in depth and find the best way to deal with them. Maybe in part, your facing your problems and going for proper help will emphasize to her that this is the responsible way to deal with such issues.

Reply to cybershrink

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