Posted by: jedo doodle | 2008-11-25

ai yai yai

I so much would like to make contact with my ex bf and his fam for Xmas- not make contact really. but just to acknowledge them. After all we were special to each other at one stage in the past.I feel terrible at not acknowledgeing his mother who was so very caring towards me . The thing is that he cut me off completely after our break up, and it makes me sad. Last year i sent a christmas card and little gift and he sent it back by return post unopened- no comment - no reason- he just sends it back.
How do I accept that this guy wants nothing to do with me after we split - I just cant come to terms with this It is hurtful .Its not that I want to become part of his life again in a romantic sense .
Why ? Christmas is a time for peace , joy and forgiveness but he just wants absolutely nothing to do with me even as a friend or acquantance - its hurtful to have become a persona non grata by some one you once shared much with. even when we find ourselves in the same place - a pub or a bar -he looks right past me as if i wasnt even there.walks right past me within split millimeters between us and doesnt even show the sligtest acknowledgement. Should I forget him too? How?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageGay, lesbian and bisexual expert

Hi JD, welcome to the forum and thanks for posting.

You don't tell us how long you guys were together or how long ago you split but it sounds as if you're still hurting over this guy. It is possible that you will only be able to process your feelings of loss when you finally accept that it is over - that he really doesn't want you. He's sending out very clear signals which you're not seeing, and you're totally invisible to him. Accept that this is over, mourn it and then move on.

Christmas can also be a very lonely time for many people and it can be tough if you're hurting. I hope you'll be with family or friends?

I hope you'll post again.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: jedo doodle | 2008-12-01

we were an item for just on 4 and a half years.
we split because i felt that I needed to explore my sexualty outside the relationship- having had him as my first ever lover- It had nothing to do with love or promiscuity.
I had no idea that he knew al along what I was doing behind his back all the years - I guess he cared so much that he turned a blind eye.. until he caught me redhanded..
What could I do but bow out - I have a BF on the rebound now - to fill the gap - but it lacks the dimension and depth of what I had with him.I keep hoping there is a glimmer of hope
but,,,,, doesnt seem like I will have another chance

Reply to jedo doodle
Posted by: Gareth | 2008-11-26

I think last year the message was quite clear. Yes it is hurtful, but I also think you should respect his wishes, and move on.

Reply to Gareth
Posted by: Anon | 2008-11-26

Maybe he is still hating and that is the only way for him to cope. I guess you must have hurt him so much that he can seems to past the pain.
Just give him the space and respect his wishes. Remember, there are just certain wounds that never hells.

Reply to Anon

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